Like We Used To
by earanemith
Summary: Ziva and Tony knew each other long before the Ari fiasco. Their life was perfect until their family was torn apart by single man with revenge on his mind. When they meet again, can they forget what happened in the past, to safe the one they miss
1. Preview

**Preview - The morning it all started**

It was early in the morning when Kate came in. She put her bag down and started her computer. Ten minutes later McGee came in, they greeted and he left for Abby. At 0800 Gibbs entered, announcing that all they had to do today were cold cases . That would be a fun day, stuck all day in the office with Dinozzo, Kate thought, but none the less she started working on the cold cases, all by herself.

And like every other day he was late. Only today he was not his normal self, Kate and McGee both saw it. Like always he barely did any of his paperwork, normally he would only play that stupid teteris game on his cell phone, or annoy Mcgee by throwing paper balls at him. But today he only stared at a picture he took from his pocket. Mcgee did not saw it he was to buisy with his computer to notice. Kate however stopped for a brief moment to look at Tony.

**Tony POV**

Today it is three years ago my world was complete. I take the photo from my pocket and look at the best two things that ever happened to me. I feel a tear coming up, and also the eyes of Kate on me.

"What?" I ask

They do not say a word, but I see in their eyes that they are wondering.

Finally at 10 pm Gibbs let us go home. Home, I think. My home hasn't felt right for a few years now. But I can't get it over my heart to move out or change anything about it.

I sit in my car, in front of the house. It doesn't feel right, to go in, so I stay in the car. When I'm asleep I dream of their faces, her smile, her laugh, and wish I could hold them in my arms.

**how was that for a preview, i promise the next chapter will be longer, hope you subscribe and review**


	2. Missed You

**CHAPTER 2 - Missed you**

**So here is the next chapter, all your comments and alerts really made me happy  
**

Everything went as yesterday; Kate was first, followed by Mcgee and Gibbs. When Tony came in he looked like he had slept in his car all night, maybe he has Kate thought. Soon they got a call a dead LT. When they are taking photos and bagging and tagging Kate tries Tony.

"Dinozzo you look like hell, what did you do?"

He only looks at her, when she sees his eyes she saw something she did not expect. He seemed totally lost. Not the normal smiling guy he normally was, but she had always thought that was just a mask.

Kate was send back after she was finished with the photo's to look in to the personal life of Lt. Jenis Mcanzy.

Soon she got the feeling as if she was being watched. Kate looked up and saw a woman, just 27 or 28, a slight olive toned skin, pretty brown eyes and lots of curly brown hair.

"How can I help you?" Kate asked.

"Are you part of the MCRT team?" the woman asked back.

"Yes, who asks?"

"Ziva David, Mossad" she showed her badge and shook Kate's hand.

"Kate Todd, for what did you come here?"

"I was looking for agent Gibbs and director Shepard"

"Well, Gibbs is still at a crime scene. I'll walk you to director Shepard"

Kate left Ziva in front of the door. Ziva knocked

"come in" was heard from the other side "ah Ziva shalom, Cynthia when agent Gibbs comes in call him up here" She turned to Ziva "so how was your flight?"

After almost an hour of talking and discussing Gibbs joined in.

"ah Jethro"

"Why did you call me up Jen?"

"I want you to meet our new agent"

"Ziva David" Ziva said as she stood up and shook Gibbs hand.

"Don't I know you?" Gibbs asked, almost sure he knew the woman in front of him.

"I was the one that saved your agents a week ago from getting shot by Ari Haswari" She said on a serious tone, her eyes spoke about something more that Gibbs could not read so he just nodded.

"Nothing personal but Jen. She can't join my team; I will not let you send one of them away, I you think"

"Jethro, o calm down, they all stay. Ziva will just fill your team as a liaison from Mossad"

After more talking Gibbs left and walked Ziva to the elevator. They passed the team Tony was frustrated and had his head on his desk.

"Kate who is that with Gibbs?" Mcgee asked

"She's Mossad, was looking for Gibbs and the director. I think Tony would like here"

"And why is that Kate?" Tony asked still with his head on his desk and a little annoyed.

"Because she's a pretty girl"

"Ha, ha, Kate. Pretty doesn't mean I like a girl" _she was so much more than just pretty._

"Yeah but she is pretty Tony, look" Mcgee helped Kate.

Tony was just too late to see her get in the elevator.

**~Gibbs & Ziva~**

"I expect you at 0810, so I Can tell my team before you come in"

"okay"

"O yeah" he slapped her head "welcome to the team, and thank you for killing that bastard"

When Ziva arrived home she looked around. Mossad had taken care for ther place, a one bedroom apartment. She had not tried to make it a home. Why should she, there would never be a home without them. She sat down on the couch a picture in her hands. Of them, and when she dozed of she saw there faces, his smile his laugh.

The next morning everyone was on time after Gibbs' stern warning even Dinozzo was on time.

"why did you need us exactly at 0800 I mean we have to be in them but you seemed" Gibbs glare "shutting up boss"

""I needed you here to tell you about your new team partner

"Does that mean one of us has to leave?" Mcgee asked

"No, she will be here as a liaison officer to the team nobody is leaving. She should be here any minute now"

When Gibbs had said that the elevator had dinged and Ziva had gotten out. She was standing to the backs of Kate Mcgee and Tony.

"I am here"

_That voice, I know but that _Tony thought.

The others had turned around

"Ziva David" she said

"This are Agent Todd, Mcgee and"

Tony had turned around when her name fell, this could not be true, he had prayed for this sins that horrible day. He had prayed to see her again, to be able to look in her eyes, if it was only one time.

"Tony" Ziva whispered

They looked at each other both thinking they were dreaming, but hoping they were not. Because if they were the dream would be to painful.

"…and agent Dinozzo, Kate, Mcgee abby's got something. Dinozzo read her in"

Gibbs had not seen his senior field agent and his fresh liaison agent look at each other, Mcgee hadn't seen it, but Kate had. Did they know one another she wondered while she was walking behind Gibbs and Mcgee.

Ziva and Tony stood as frozen, both hoping the other would not disappear when they blinked their eyes.

Tony was the first one to do something, he stepped forward and without thinking he wrapped his arms around Ziva. Placing his head on hers. She did the same with him, hoping all had been a nightmare and she had just woken up. But know everything that had happened was too real for a nightmare. Still for a moment, just a moment they could pretend that nothing had ever happened, could they not?

"I've missed you" Tony whispered to her.

Ziva shook her head "not here, there is too much"

"We have to talk" Tony knew her, he knew her to well, and she knew him, if they would pretend if nothing was wrong, or pretended everything was wrong it would just not hold.

She met his eyes once again and nodded "tonight"

"Tony I can't I have to" she sighed, he saw the tears in her eyes . They had to go through this, they actually had to go through this years ago. If only they had done it earlier"Friday night"

"okay "

Just before the team entered the bullpen again and they separated Ziva whispered almost inaudible

"I have missed you too"


	3. Why I Love You

**So here is Chapter 3, at the end of this chapter there will be a memory this will also happen with several other chapters so at the bottom of the chapter it will say memory and than tell the memory. First I had It all in italic letters but for long pieces it is annoying to read so I did it like this**

**CHAPTER 3- Why I love you **

When the whole team was complete Gibbs said something about getting coffee and left. Leaving the four agents alone, with loads of work to do.

"Earth to Dinozzo!" Kate said in his ear, which made him look at her instead of Ziva.

How long had he been staring at her? "uh what?"

"You did not tell her a word did you?" Kate sighed and pulled a few files out giving them to Ziva. "if you read this you should be up to where we are now, which is not far. Uhm you can sit there, if you stay I think the wall will be removed" Kate told Ziva as she pointed to the desk to the end of the bullpen.

Ziva took her seat at the end of the line of desks and started to read. Kate and McGee were discussing what they had missed. Tony was in some sort of trance. When Ziva was done she listened to what McGee said.

"There is just nothing to find from this guy. Here in the video you see him no where not even a shadow" Ziva joined them. And looked at the tape

"Can you get something from reflection?" She asked, not sure if they could do that, she knew that Mossad could but was not sure about NCIS.

"Yes we can indeed, but there is no reflection!" McGee answered

"Yes there is here." she pointed at the plasma screen "that lamp."

"Why did we miss that McGee!" Kate said out frustration, they had been looking at the video's for about two days. Her desk phone went off and Kate picked it up, "yeah Abby I'll come"

"Abby's got something on the sticky stuff we found. Ziva want to come?" Ziva gave Kate a quick nod and they left. In the elevator Kate spoke to Ziva.

"Don't pay too much attention to Tony, he is just being his oh so charming self" Ziva smiled at that.

Why she had fallen for him in the first place was because he was trying to impress her with his charms. Then she thought that he was just another boy. They run into each other the next day and he tried again, no success, he tried to impress her by running a little in front of her but he slipped on the ice that still lay on some places. It had made her laugh and she had run to him and helped him up. He had smiled his goofy grin to her _that_ was when she fell in love with him. When he stopped being a charmboy and started to be him.

When they got out and walked to Abby's lab there was loud music coming to them. Abby turned around and frowned at Ziva, not expecting someone to come with Kate. And wondering if she had missed an appointment by the director about someone coming to watch.

"Kate she is not going to watch my every move is she?" Abby said, already steady to call the director and demand that the woman would go away.

"Who, Ziva no she is part of the team now." Kate answered, totally oblivious to the whining sound in Abby's voice

"NO, did they send Tony or Mcgee away?" Abby asked shocked

"Why does everyone assume that I have taken the place from someone?" Ziva asked, beginning to be a little irritated by the constant questions, about who she would be replacing.

Abby ignored Ziva and looked at Kate when she shook her head she started to explain what she had found not looking at Ziva and trying to ignore her. When Ziva had enough she stood in front of Abby and asked bluntly.

"Why do you ignore me?" Ziva was not the one to hold her tong when she did not like something.

"Because I do not trust you. For all I know you are part of that group that one Ari Haswari was."

"Well I was but…."

"Aha" Abby said putting her hand up "so I have a reason to not trust you, you worked for all I know with him to kill my team, miss David"

Ziva knew she was referring to the team of Gibbs "Dah-veed, and maybe you should have read my file a bit better. Because if you had read it more than just my name, you would have find out that I was his control officer and that I put a bullet through his head before he could put one through let's say her head " she pointed at Kate.

Abby looked from Ziva to Kate, went quick to her computer and looked in the file, which had been classified, but Abby had gotten to the file in less than 30 seconds. Kate and Ziva had not even seen it as she did is when she was talking to Kate about the stickystuff. There it was in nice black letters that Ziva had indeed killed Ari. Abby turned around an unsure look on her face.

"I guess sorry will not do?"

Ziva sighed "it is okay, I just do not like"

She was cut off by a bone crushing hug, when Kate and Ziva where back up in the elevator Ziva asked Kate "Is she always?"

"yes" she answered short, the two woman laughed, somewhere knowing that together they would be okay, even friends after a while.

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**_Memory_Memory_Memory_Memory_**

It was still chilly, mid-January, when Ziva David left her apartment. She had not been in or out America for a year now on missions and now was her first real staying. She would live permanently in DC now since she had gotten a job on the Israeli embassies.

The day went well, her first week she only worked half days to learn what she needed than she would take over the position of an officer that was retiring.

That night her neighbors had invited her to go clubbing with her. After a few friendly pushes she had said yes. What would be wrong with getting to know the neighbors?

So there she was, now holding a very good mojito* in her hand, moving on the beat. Merissa and Jane had left for the dance floor. Ziva had said she rather stayed at the bar and drink her drink. The club was full but not too crowded.

After barley a minute a group of guys gathered on the bar chairs next to her. She felt the eyes of only one of them on her. Constantly, but she tried to ignore it. Just like with an annoying bug eventually it will go away. Now she did not jet know that bug would never go away, not really. The guy that had been starring at her walked to her.

"Hey Honey." Ziva did not answer.

He smiled a charming smile at her. Jet his face told her he did not mean the smile, his eyes there for told a whole other story.

"My friends and I were wondering if you had a boyfriend?"

Ziva snorted; great a charm boy had walked to her. She looked closer at him, his greenish eyes held deep deaths in them. His face and appearance was just as she imagined how her perfect guy would look like.

"If you have he must be really stupid to let you sit here by yourself." the guy told her.

No answer, Ziva liked the guy, she had to admit. But the game he was playing would lead to a one night stand and then an early bedroom flight; she was not looking for that, not anymore.

"You know I am a good dancer, so…" he hold out his hand. "May I have your lovely hand for a dance" this always worked. When he spotted that girl he couldn't keep his eyes of her. Normally that meant it would be an interesting night.

At this she laughed.

Her laugh, her smile, it was then that Anthony Dinozzo, skirt chasers knew. This would not be a girl for a one night stand, this was the girl he wanted, needed, the girl that would be for forever.

Ziva stood up from the chair. He thought she would accept, instead of her hand she placed her empty glass in his hand and placed her other hand on his cheek, tapping it sweetly for a few moments. She smiled at him and walked away, to her neighbors she told she was leaving.

Three days later she went out for her morning run. She was halfway through her normal route when she heard another pair of foots on the ground make speed.

As soon as Tony had seen the girl from days ago he made speed and changed his pace so he was running next to her.

"Hey!" He said

Ziva recognized him snorted and rolled her eyes.

He run a bit faster and was now a few meter in front of her. He had not seen the bit of ice that was still on the ground, when he looked behind him to see if she was still there and watching him he fell.

Laughing at his try to impress her and then fall down Ziva run to him. When she stood over him she reached out her hand and he grabbed it. When she tried to pull him up he slipped again but pulled her with him in his fall. They were now both lying on the ground laughing. They stood up without falling down this time.

He put one hand through his hair and laughed. "Well that was a way to let you know I like you"

When he smiled it was not a fake smile this time. This smile was real, it was sweet and charming, it reached his eyes and went for his soul. That was when Ziva David scary ex-assassin knew, this would be the guy she had dreamed of all her life, this would be the one. Only this time it would not be a dream it would be real.

"You just could have asked me out for a drink, and just be you" She said to him

"Well then, will you go got a drink with me than…"

"Ziva, Ziva David"

"Ziva, will you?"

"I would gladly. IF you promise me one thing"

"And that would be?"

"Do not ever, and I mean ever call me honey ever again"

"I promise"

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***I think I spelled mojito wrong**

**What did you think?  
**


	4. Just Give Her Back

**And here is Chapter 4 thanks that you like the way Ziva and Tony met. O yeah, can some one please tell me how to spell windowstill, or window still or windowsill or window sill Eveytime I put it in a checking machine it says that i spelled it wrong but it won't say how I SHOULD spell it.

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**CHAPTER 4 - Just Give Her Back

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With Ziva's good eye on the lamp and Abby finding the sticky stuff they had the man behind bars by Friday round 8. Gibbs ordered them home. When Gibbs and McGee had left Tony walked to Ziva. And they both knew what would come.

"You ready?" he asked.

Ziva looked up and nodded "I'll drive behind you"

Kate had heard it and wondered if Tony would end this weekend as always. With a girl in his bed, though she wondered if Ziva would fall for that, she seemed to be a strong woman.

When Tony and Ziva arrived in front of _their _house Ziva did not get out of the car. Tony walked to her opened her door and asked "What's wrong?"

"You did not" _Why had he never moved away?_

"I could not, come in" they walked in together. While Tony was warming up dinner Ziva walked through the living room that held much memory for both of them. She walked to the windowstill, there lay a book, one of hers. It was just the same way she had left it, hurt began to creep to her heart. He had never moved a thing, she wondered if he had not done it because he thought she would come back.

"Diners ready" Tony said.

They ate in silence. When they were done and had cleaned up there was a painful silence, they both knew that they had to talk. But neither of them really wanted to. Because no one wanted to reopen old wounds.

Tony's cell went off he looked at the ID "I have to take this" He said as he walked back the kitchen in. They both were a little relieved with the extra time.

Without really thinking Ziva's foots let her up the stairs. The first door she came across had once been their bedroom, she opened it. It was neatly made up, it seemed as if there had not slept anyone in years. Two doors down she opened another door, at first she hesitated but with closed eyes she stepped in. When she opened them they filled themselves with tears. The room was still the same, there was a little crib just next to the window, there was a rocking chair with pillows in it. There were stuffed animals in one of the corners, next to a closet. In the other end of the room was a changing table. There were a few shelves' that held a few children books and a few pictures she grabbed the biggest one. One of the three of them, she had just given birth and they were all three lying on the bed. The tears fell down her face just as Tony re-entered the room. He saw her crying and got tears in his eyes as well.

"Tony we"

"I know" he finished. A silence was between them again before Ziva spoke up, the tears were heard in her words.

"Why did you not ever move out or change the room?" _Ziva could see that she had broken him._

"I told you I couldn't, everyday that I wake up I hope that everything was just a nightmare and she is just in her crib and you beside me. Or that you two will walk in"

"I wish everything had been a nightmare too, but it isn't. It is real, I just hope that she is not…" She could not say the words "There is not one day I do not wake up and whish that she is just waking up and you are beside me"

"_That _is not my fault" Tony said bitterly "And you know it."

"Tony I could not do it anymore." Ziva said with pain in her voice.

"So you just left?" the tears stung in his eyes "We both lost her Ziva!"

"But you were not the one who gave her away to them" tears running down her cheeks.

"We had this fight already, it was not your fault if you had not done it they would have killed her right there. Still you did not have to go away, we could have gone after them, we could have"

"There is nothing we could do then, they wanted to disappear, you searched them, I searched them whole mossad searched them but they could not be found." Ziva began to raise her voice

"We could have taken it together!" Tony yelled, not a from anger but from hurt "Anything had been better than you walking away like that."

"Tony, do you realize how it was for me. I was still working at home, remember. I was the one that was at home the whole day. You could do something than I could not, the only thing I could do was being at home, staring in her crib, praying that if I blinked my eyes I would see her and not an empty crib" Ziva half cried half yelled out.

"I know, and there was not one day when I came home and I did not heard you I feared that they had taken you to" Tony yelled back

"I had to leave Tony, I could not take the silence anymore, the last weeks I did not see you, I could not go to her and hold her. Every night I dreamed that she was crying, and I could not comfort her, when I looked at you I realized that it would only hurt more when I stayed."

"You could have told me, how you felt, I saw the two most precious things in my life walk away." he was not ashamed of his tears, not with her.

"That is why I left when you slept, I hoped it would be easier that way." The tears were making their way down her cheeks, and slowly falling to the ground.

"Do you even know that I was awake."

Ziva shook her head in disbelieve "No, I checked you slept."

"No Ziva I didn't, as soon as I heard you cry I was awake. I thought you had walked to Emma's room I went and checked on you. But I heard you downstairs, I walked down, you just opened the door. I wanted to say something but you closed the door to fast. I watched through the window, thinking you just went to have some fresh air. But guess what Ziva, YOU. NEVER. CAME. BACK!"

"Tony I"

"No Ziva please go"

"But I did not"

"GO" he yelled she looked at him one last time, before she stormed downstairs got in her car and drove at top speed. After five minutes her vision was so blurry from the tears she pulled over. Letting the tears roll.

"I did not know Tony" she sobbed, and to someone who was not there might not even excised "Please give her back, just give our baby girl back"

Tony sank down when he saw Ziva leave when she had left he yelled all his pain out, it turned to sobs "Give her back, just give her back"

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**Memory_Memory_ Memory_Memory_ Memory_Memory_ Memory_Memory_ Memory_Memory_**

Ziva had lay awake the whole night. She missed her baby girl, she looked next to her. Tony lay on the other end, she knew she could not stay, all she wanted to do was walk away. If she would stay she would end up breaking his heart further and further, and she did not want to do that. So in the first light of the sun she stood up, only one back pack she packed. A few clean clothes, One last look she threw in the room of Tony. She walked to him, softly crying, she layed a note next to him and put her ring on the note. She stroke his face and whispered "I love you" than she left, for the last time she walked in Emma's room, she took the photo of Tony and Emma and placed it in the bag. Soft sobs came from her, she thought they were to soft for Tony to hear.

In their room Tony woke hearing Ziva cry he stood up, he walked to Emma's room because he thought she would be there. He had not been home much in two weeks, when he was home she usually slept and he was gone before she woke up. When he reached Emma's room she was not there. He thought he heard something downstairs so he went to look for her. There she was she was just in the doorframe, he wanted to say something to her, like "be safe" "I promise I'll be home early" but the door closed to fast. He walked to the window and looked at his fiancée. She probably went out for some fresh air, to clean her mind.

He walked back upstairs and stopped to look in Emma's room. Their baby girl was gone, the room seemed to have a dark shadow over itself. He noticed a picture of him and Emma was gone. Strange he thought. When he walked into their room he saw something on his night stand. A note, he sat down on their bed. And saw that a ring was lying on it. He grabbed the ring, Ziva's ring, the engagement ring he had given her only a day after Emma was born. They had want to wait until Emma was one to marry but that dream was destroyed, they would not marry before their baby girl was back in their arms. Why had she left it there. He grabbed the note and read it. Only one word in her writing

"Sorry"

Then the dots connected in his head. She had not left to take a walk to have some fresh air. She had taken the photo. She was gone, and he had seen her walk away, just like their baby girl. She was gone and would not come back.

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_**Okay I want to apologize for my really bad grammar and spelling especially on the words, lay, layed, lied, and so.**_

_**And also what do you think of the name Emma, full name Emmanuella **_

**Please review**


	5. End Up Hurting You

**I want to thank all you guys for alerting and reviewing, it really makes me happy. Sorry for the slight delay in chapter posting though. O yeah Italics are either Tony's or Ziva's thoughts.

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**CHAPTER 5 – End Up Hurting You

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The whole weekend passed in some sort of blur for them to. The only thought on their mind was Emma, and the other.

Monday morning when Tony walked in Kate looked at him and asked.

"Had a fun weekend Tony?" No answer, so Kate assumed that what she had thought had happen "Do you really have to go after every woman that you see, I mean you could not take your eyes of Ziva so"

"Be careful Kate" Tony said, Kate saw that he was hurt but she did not understand, on the moment she wanted to say something Ziva just walked in.

She was a whole other woman than before. Sure she had not seem someone who would cry or jump from happiness as Abby was. But the Ziva she now saw was a whole lot different, it seemed as if her body was tense, ready to attack or protect when needed, her eye which had been full of emotions no one could read were now emotion less eyes. As if she had a secret, something so bad it hurt her to much to be herself, a secret that was impossible for someone to read.

A week past, Tony and Ziva did not speak unless it involved a case. Everyone began to notice this strange behavior. At one point when Tony and Ziva both had been picking up a suspect McGee had asked Kate if she noticed, and if she knew anything about it.

There had also been a bit of a move in desks, the wall had been taken away and the desk had Gibbs taken, he was not in much so it was no problem. Ziva had taken Gibbs desk.

Every time Ziva looked up and to Tony her mind floated with memories. She had hurt him, hurt him deep, there needed to be something done but what. And did she still have the strength, to try.

Time past and the pain in both their hearts had only grown worse. They had no idea that they both lay awake at night only wanting one thing. Seeing each other beside them, telling them everything would be okay.

Abby came bouncing one day in the bullpen.

"Kate, Ziva do you guys have something to do Friday night?"

They both answered with no's "Great" Abby squealed "Then I see you Friday night at eight, don't eat!"

As quick as she had come she had left. When Friday came around Kate and Ziva agreed on riding together. And at half eight Kate was in front of Ziva's door. She knocked; Ziva opened and said that she just had to grab a few things. Kate walked in.

Ziva's apartment was nothing as she had imagined, she had at least thought that there would be some personal touches. But how her apartment looked only confirmed the thoughts of Kate. The only thing she could find was a photo, she picked it up, there was a little baby girl in it. Before Kate could look further to the photo Ziva came back and they left.

They were a little early but that was no problem, they figured Abby had long planned this. There were mattresses on the floor, a bowl of mars mellows and a load of DVD's.

"Okay now the party can start"

They watched some movies and at midnight Abby got a plan.

"Okay time for 75Seconds" Abby said with a big smile on her face, Kate laughed Ziva just looked puzzled.

"Abby, what is 75seconds?" Ziva asked.

"You just call someone and try to scare them within the time of 75 seconds. It's fun" She said "Kate you first, call McGee"

The phone went and as soon as McGee picked up Abby started the clock.

"Please help me, he is going to" Kate fake cried out "he is behind me and"

"Kate?" Mcgee asked "I guess you are with Abby"

"How did you know Timmy?" Abby asked, wondering how McGee could know so fast it was them.

"You forgot what you always forget with your first call, the star 63, I could see your number. Goodnight"

When he had hung up Abby only said oops then pushed another number but didn't forgot the star, she was calling Tony, and put the phone on speaker.

"Dinozzo" Tony answered

"Hello mister Dinozzo" Abby said in a fake accent they could not place "I have something from you."

On the other end of the phone Tony's mind did the wrong math "Where is she!" he demanded.

Kate and Abby giggled Ziva did not get it, with one look between Abby and Kate they decided to go on where Tony had left.

"Not with you, but there are some things that we will do.."

"Basterd, give her back now. I swear to god if you hurt her you will rot in hell for the rest of your life"

Ziva knew what he was talking about, he really thought that they were the ones who had taken Emma, she tried to tell Kate to stop but she put her hand up for Ziva to stop.

"And why would we do that?" Kate now asked

"I will hunt you down you sick" Kate and Abby looked shocked. 20 more seconds Kate broke him off, because Abby looked like crying

"Dinozzo shut up!" She almost yelled over Tony's voice.

"uh" Came from the other end

"Were just playing 75, dumbass, what is wrong with you, why did you threaten us you scared the hell out of Abby"

_Damn damn damn, they cannot know_ "Well, I won then yes?"

"You knew we were playing?" Abby asked

"Yes, McGoo called me, but I did win yes"

"Oh you sneaky little" Abby started but then sighed "yes you won."

"Well than lady's I have a few words for you "You've just got 75ved"" And the call was over

After that call they quit playing and went back to the movies Abby had. After on Abby said

"Would there be really people that freak out about their kid like that?"

"I think in some form, but they will not jump from a bridge" Abby and Kate laughed, not noticing that Ziva did not laugh with them. _They have no idea; they do not know if there is any chance to get your baby back by jumping of a bridge, hell even jumping of a building if you would survive, you would do it. Without thinking twice. Ziva whished it would be that easy. _

"In a couple of years I want to have lots of babies" Abby said

"yeah me too, what about you Ziva?" Kate asked

Ziva was to deep in her mind. Her baby girl, Emma.

"Earth to Ziva" Abby said that shook Ziva back.

"Sorry what?"

"Do you want to have babies in a couple of years?"

She nodded "Yes I would" _I would want my baby but not in a couple of years now._

That was when she decided she could not wait another life time to go. And like that she went Saturday night to _their _house. It was little after nine when she got the courage to go. She pressed the bell, but no answer.

Inside the house Tony was there, he walked to the door and looked first who it was. Ziva, he could not open. She kept ringing, Tony sat against the door. He wanted her but he just couldn't.

Ziva stood on the outside, she had to get it of her chest even if he did not hear it.

"Tony, I know you are not there but" she sighed "I know I cannot undo what I have done or said. I wish I could, when I left I thought I could save you. I did not want to hurt you, if I stayed I was afraid that I would break your heart even more, I only now see that I have done that. It does not matter what I say, I cannot make it right even though I want. I should have told you how I felt, you were right we could have taken it together. But all I wanted to do was walk away, walk away from the pain, when I should have stayed. I regret every moment I was not with you. I wish that I knew what I am suppose to do, that we can be together and take the pain, find our little girl. I am sorry for everything, I wish you could hear me now. I never stopped loving you, I am sorry"

And with that she walked away. Tony had tears in his eyes.

He knew now that he had not been fair to her. He should have asked how she felt, how she got through the day. He would make it up to her. Together they would heal the pain, together they would find Emma they just had to.


	6. Gave Her Away

**Well, this is a moment you all have been waiting for. In this Chapter you get to know how Emma was taken/

* * *

**

**CHAPTER 6 – Gave Her Away

* * *

**

McGee and Ziva already sat at their desks when Tony and Kate came in together.

"Maybe you should have done your work a few days ago" with an annoying look on her face.

When Tony saw Ziva his heart sunk and broke again. The look on her face. He walked to her

"Ziva, can we talk?"

"Not now Tony, we have work to do"

She was pushing him away, and Tony knew it, she had given up. He would wait, until he could get her alone.

"Grab your gear" Gibbs said and they all grabbed their bags and left.

When they got out they walk to the body. When they arrived Ziva could not believe her eyes. In front of them lay a little girl, all Ziva saw before her was Emma. She had to be around the same age as the girl on the floor. Without that she knew it she spoke

"Emma"

"What?" McGee asked and shook her back out of her head.

"No nothing."

When they just were beginning a woman came on the scene. She was screaming and crying for her daughter.

"Tony get her away now!" Gibbs ordered, knowing the pain the woman was going through. The woman did not need to see the dead body of her little girl. Not in this state.

Tony run to the woman and pulled her back, that was quit a task because the mother of the girl wanted to do everything just to hold her girl again. Tony had pulled her back, where no people were standing.

The woman was just crying, now.

"Shhhh" Tony said "You have to be strong now"

The woman looked at Tony with disbelieve, and all the anger at the one that murdered her daughter she took out on Tony "How can you say that! My girl she is" the woman could not speak the words.

"Ma'm calm down"

"I do not calm down the one that did this is still around and you are just doing nothing"

"I know it feels like that but"

"You do not know. Your girl is not"

"She is. She was barely a year when she was taken from me and her mother"

"Yeah sure, I do not believe you; you are just trying to take my daughter away"

Tony took a photo out of his pocket "This is her, Emma and her mother. You need to keep your head clear, I did not and as a result I did not only lose my daughter but also her mother. Call your husband you can make it together"

When the woman saw the photo and heard Tony's words another set of cries came, but this time not from anger but from sadness.

They arrived back at NCIS, the whole team working as hard as they could. Even though the minds of both Ziva and Tony were with Emma.

Because it was about a child Gibbs was more focused than ever. And like that they had to stay. Round 3am they all were exhausted. McGee had gone to Abby hours ago. The rest of them were yawning behind their desks. Gibbs came in and saw them

"Just lay down for an hour or two" then he left again, everyone knew he was going down to Ducky. Kate and Ziva lay down behind their desks, using their coats as pillows, Tony slept in his chair.

They were just a half hour asleep when Ziva started to dream a nightmare. She dreamt about how Emma was taken

* * *

_Tony and Ziva had just come back from a trip to Tel Aviv to her father, they had told them they were getting married and he was really happy. He even offered to take care of Emma while they were on their honeymoon. He had let them in with open arms not as anyone would have expect from him, not as the hard Mossad director everyone knew him to be. He had sent them back with his private jet. Tony and Ziva walked out, Tony holding up a picture _

"_Here this is your Ima, and here is your daddy" Tony pointed at the picture_

_,Emma grabbed it happily she recognized the faces. She holds it in Ziva's face and wildly pointed at Ziva. _

"_That's right sweetheart that is me"_

_The plain only just left when a three man and two women walked to them. They blocked them the way. Tony immediately stood in front of Ziva and his daughter Emma._

_Within the blink of an eye they group moved. They had taken Tony down to the ground, one of the man hit Ziva even though she was caring Emma. She tried her best to keep standing but was forced on her knees by a hit in the back. There came a black van behind Tony. And one man got out._

_He smiled evil, and walked to Ziva. "Give the child"_

"_No" Ziva said determined, the man gave a sign and they beat Tony. _

"_Give the child"_

"_Ziva no, I can handle" another set of beating broke him of._

"_Why?" Ziva asked, holding Emma close to her._

"_Because you took my daughter away, That was a mistake" he hit Ziva in her face "the younger they are the more they can be trained. And this little on here, can get me very much if she is older"_

"_No, you won't get her"_

"_Give the child" he hit Ziva in her face_

"_No" she said with tears in her eyes "She can't do anything for you let us go"_

_He laughed "I am not crazy, I know who you are. When she is trained the hit on Mossad, on you will be much harder. Now give the little brad"_

"_Her name is Emma, you sick" another beating broke Tony of._

_The man singed again, guns were pulled out on against Tony's head, and one at Ziva's and the man took his gun and pointed it at Emma._

"_Give now"_

"_You have to shoot me first"_

"_And if I do that I just shoot him and she is still mine" he hit Ziva with his gun she fell and Emma started to cry. "or I just shoot her now" he took out the safety pin._

_Ziva saw there was no other way. If she did not give Emma she and Tony would be killed and he still got Emma. If she gave her than maybe she would live._

_Slowly Ziva reached up and hold Emma in his direction, barley a centimeter. But he took her none the less. Ziva tried to hold on to Emma, but failed. With the gun in her back she did not dare to move. When the man walked away, Emma started to cry more, and the first time she spoke more than baby brabble_

"_IMA" she cried_

_Ziva got tears in her eyes. "Emma"_

"_DADDY" Emma cried out. But the man kept walking; her crying was softened by the car door closing. The guns were pulled away in the matter of seconds everyone was gone. _

_Ziva sat on her knees, her face in her hands, and bend double crying all she had in. Tony half crawled to her and hold her, tears in his eyes to._

"_I gave her away"

* * *

_

"I gave her away" Ziva cried in her sleep. This instant woke Kate, she was a light sleeper, not a good thing for a bullpen nap.

She heard Ziva say more she was calling for a girl Emma.

"Ziva wake up" She said loudly. At this Tony woke. He heard Ziva's cries, and knew what she was dreaming about. He stood up, and just as Kate he tried to wake her with his voice. When this did not work he walked behind her desk.

"Emma" she still cried.

"Ziva" he said as he shook her, at this she jumped up, tears in her eyes. Tony wrapped his arms around her, he looked at Kate she got the hint and left_. Maybe he had slept with her and they were more then just a one night stand_ she thought.

"Tony, they took her…she cried…and I…I just gave her" she cried into Tony's shoulder.

He let her cry let her cry it out on him. When she was done she realized that she was so close to him

"Sorry you must" he placed his finger on her mouth.

"Come" he lead her to the roof of the building. Ziva begins when they both say nothing.

"Look Tony I wanted to talk to you a few nights ago I went to _your_" _our Tony thought _"house but you weren't there so"

"I was" Tony admitted

"You were?"

"Yes, I just could not open the door. I just. I heard everything you said, I did not realize all those things. And I am sorry that I pushed you away back then. I think I was so afraid of losing you to that I did the thing I did not want to do"

"Me too" Ziva said.

"The point is, I understand why you left now. There is nothing to be sorry about; I just want you back in my life, I have needed you for to long, when you were not with me. Together we can handle it, we have to…for Emma. Again I am sorry that I pushed you away, I never meant to"

Ziva stepped forward and Tony closed his arms around her "I just want you to know, even if I left I never stopped loving you" she whispered.

"I love you" he whispered back. They stood there for what seemed as hours.

They both knew that things would be better; together they would fight the demons, the pain. Sure the scars of the past were still visible and would probably be for forever, but they would slightly fade with time.

* * *

**Happy?**


	7. Grab Everything You See

**CHAPTER 7 – Grab Everything You See**

**First of all I want to thank, and like thank with big hugs and stuff all the people that favorite/alert this story. It is as much as I have gotten for one whole story and I am not even halfway through. And a big with hugs and kisses (on the cheek) thanks to all of you who review and tell me what you think. I already wrote most of the story but then I know what I have to change in a chapter.**

**Secondly; I was kind of confusing with Kate maybe. She does not know, though she does suspect that there is something with the two of them.**

The next night they ended up at _their _house. Because the night work they had found a few things and were able to catch him the next day. And now they were together, sitting on the couch. Ziva looked at Tony, not sure if she should ask the question, she took a deep breath and asked.

"Did you ever stop searching her?"

He sighed "Yes, I did not want to but, I started working with Gibbs, there was nothing more I could work on. I only found out that he was not in the states anymore further I could not track him"

Ziva did not look into Tony's eyes, she had not told him. But when did she have the change, it was not as if she could have called him in the past years and just say "_Shalom, yeah, remember me, I was your fiancé the mother of your child. I just wanted to call you to tell you that I am working on it and I'll let you know if I know more_" she could not have done it. So she told him now, hoping he would understand why she never told him before."There is a mossad operative working an undercover op, that might lead to her. My father did not know if it was that group, and if she is still…alive but if it is we may find her. We can have her back"

Ziva's voice sounded so hopeful when she spoke, that maybe they could get her back. Almost so hopeful it seemed hopeless, Tony did not know what to say he just hold Ziva. It was just as those years ago when they were happy, only Emma could finish it, could make them fully happy again.

It was past midnight when Ziva wanted to get up, Tony however hold her back.

"Don't go"

Ziva turned around "Tony we cannot"

"Why not, I don't ever want you see walking out that door again without me, not until we have Emma back, then you may are allowed to go out with her" he pulled her closer and placed a kiss on her lips. It was a short sweet kiss, enough to tell them both things were going to get better. _I cannot lose you again._

He walked up with her. They both stood awkwardly in front of their bed.

"Tony I will sleep on the couch" Ziva said, afraid that thing would go wrong if things became as they had been once.

"No this is how it suppose to be, had to be all those years" he said while he walked in with her close to him. They stripped down till underwear and got in bed, somehow it was not awkward, it just fitted. They ended up talking all night.

Ziva lay on his chest, he with his arm around her, as if they needed the contact, to tell them it was real.

"I wonder what she would have looked like?" Tony now noticed something. She spoke if Emma was dead, maybe just his mind playing with him.

"I think she looks the most like you. Em always had your hair and eyes"

"Yes, but your noise and jaw line" Ziva looked at him "She would have been beautiful"

"Ziva, may I ask you something? And tell the truth" Ziva nodded "Why do you speak of her as if she is dead?"

Ziva turned her head away from him, she fell tears coming in her eyes "Ziva why?" he asked again. She looked at him and he saw the tears in her eyes, it almost made him wish he had not asked it.

"Because I am afraid if I will not, and she is dead than" more did not came out

"shh, Ziva she is not dead do you hear me, she is not. She can't be" And oh, how he hoped she was not. He understood Ziva's fear, he had the same thing, but yet he did it as if talking of Emma alive calmed him with the thought they would get her back.

They lay like that before Tony spoke again

"Do you remember the first time we went to the park with her? She would want to go to everything she saw"

Ziva laughed at that memory "I remember"

* * *

**_Memory_**

"Tony do you think she is warm enough?" Ziva asked worried. While holding a four month old very curious baby Emma.

"Sweet cheeks, she already got a jacked a scarf a hat and warm shoes, it is not freezing"

"But if"

"Ziva it is fine, come on" And they left their house.

In the park Emma heard all new sounds she looked around, hold her arms up to everything they came even close to, wanting to grab and feel the things.

"Emma, you can't grab everything you see" Tony told her with a laugh.

They had sat down on a bench and took Emma out. They were talking with her while and old couple approached them.

"Ahh, Wilbert look how cute? Oh sorry, but this little one looked so sweet, and you two as a couple I mean "

"Thank you" Ziva replied laughing and looking full pride to her daughter.

"And what is your name little one?" the woman asked Emma, who was smiling a baby smile at the woman.

"Emma" Tony answered

"Oh such a sweet name"

"Beth, I think they want to enjoy Emma, more than your questions" Wilbert said

"Sorry" Beth answered, "You are very gifted with such a sweet girl. Goodbye" when she walked away she stroke Emma's hair, who loved the attention.

They sat there for a while, watching their daughter take in the surrounding. Watching how she got tired and passed out in her father's arms.

* * *

**Okay I have a question, it may be much to ask for. But could someone please explain me when to use: lay, lied, lain, lie, laying because I always mix them up. And it is driving me crazy ( I also think you) I asked my Englisch teacher but when she explained I was like "Yeah, okay, I kind of loosed you with the words Okay I'll explain". So for my English and better grammar in this story please help.**

**BTW. We had to write a letter for our school exams for English and I got a 7,6, and that is pretty high**_**. ** _


	8. Where It Belongs

**CHAPTER 8- Where it belongs**

Tony and Ziva had talked the night away, it was only when Tony's alarm ringed that they noticed. Neither of them had slept, yet they were not tired. Sure their body was tired of going on without sleep, but their minds were a lot more at peace. When Tony came back from a quick shower Ziva was still in her underwear.

"Do you want to go to my car and grab my spare cloths?" She asked Tony.

"Not necessary"

"And why not? I cannot exactly go to work in the same cloths as yesterday, let alone my underwear" Ziva said not getting what Tony was trying to say .

Tony put his hand in his neck and smiled unsure of how to say "You asked me why I did not move out, I told you because I could not. Well I did not really throw any of your old cloths out to"

Ziva smiled at Tony, a understanding and yet painful smile. When he spoke she had seen again what kind of damage she had done to him. How much their world had shattered when they thought it was already beyond repairing.

Tony left for the kitchen while Ziva looked in the wardrobe took some cloths and took a shower. When she came into the kitchen it was as if Tony saw a whole other woman, the Ziva he once knew. And only because of her cloths, it reminded him of happier times, not the monotoom colored cloths she wore now, not that he did not like them he just remembered her different.

They left for work each in their own car, when they walked into the bullpen they both looked exhausted. As if the ride to work had made them just as tired as the whole night. Tony walked in little before Ziva.

"Ruff night?" McGee asked with a smirk.

"Shut up probie, you don't" Tony was angry, why it was a question for him, maybe because with last night he had hoped as by some miracle that everything had been a dream. He had wanted continue but Ziva placed her hand on his arm and with that simple gesture she calmed him down.

When McGee and Kate got a good look at Ziva they both had the same thoughts, Kate spoke them out.

"Wow, Ziva you look different, nice" she said, not believing how she saw the mossad liaison in front of her.  
Ziva was wearing black skinny jeans with a long light blue sweater that reached till just above her knees.

Ziva did not spend every night with Tony. Not because they did not both wanted it, not because she did not love or even like him anymore. No she was just afraid. Afraid that they would repeat what had happen.

But still she was there with him one night both sitting on the couch halfway through a movie.  
Suddenly Tony spoke up, and not to quote but for a whole different reason "Ziva, stay with me?" He had given this long and many thoughts and he was sure.  
Ziva however did not know what he meant "Of course I'll stay the night"  
"No Zi that is not what I meant. What I meant was" He took a big breath "Stay with me, forever, come live with me again. Move in with me in _our _house"  
Ziva did not look at Tony. _What was he doing, they could not make the same mistakes. _"Tony, I...We Can't" Tony looked disappointed "What if we make the same mistake as before, what if _I _make the same mistake as before."

"We will not, we did it before, didn't we, Ziva we can do this. Can make it work if you give it a change" She repaid him with a kiss. They both were surprised.

The next day Ziva got her stuff, she only needed the bag with which she had come, her apartment was owned by mossad and had been empty for two years before she got in so no rush to give a sign of her moving out. It held all of her clothes and belongings. While she was putting the few things she had in the bag she was thinking. What if she was indeed making a mistake? _No, she told herself, she was making the right choice things would become better. _And like that she went to Tony

The bell rang Tony opened and saw Ziva with her back.

"I never took my key" She said. He let her in

"I have something for you" And he gave her the small box.

Ziva opened it and looked at the key to _their_ house; she took it out at the end there was a small heart hanging that could open. In one side there as written "_So we never forget_" on the other side was a photo of the three of them. She got tears in her eyes and said

"Thank you"

She placed the few cloth she had in the closet, now she to noticed how much brighter her cloths once were. She hold the photo of Emma and Tony, she placed it on the self where it belonged in Emma's room. She took the only other photo she had and took it down stairs.

"What do you have?" Tony asked.

She placed the photo on the salon table he looked at it. A photo from them from when Ziva was pregnant with Emma. It was the end of the winter still cold and she showed enough to be seen in the tight winter coat she wore, she also had a head on. They were standing against a tree, he hold his arms around her, on her pregnant belly. They both looked at each other, trapped in each other's eyes, and they smiled.

"So that is where it belongs" Tony got an idea when Ziva said that. He mumbled something about being right back. When he came he had a camera in his hands.

"Come here" he said as he pulled her to him. She wanted to protest, but he gave her a soft kiss on her lips and quick held his arm out so he could take a photo. He smiled as she gave him a pat on his cheek.

The next morning as they entered the bullpen they had smiles on their face. Ziva went down to Abby.

"Ziva" Abby cried out and hugged her tight "Why are you here? I do not have anything yet"

"No I've got something for you" Ziva gave it to Abby, it was one box of evidence that Abby needed to check again. Then Ziva turned around and wanted to leave

"Wait a minute, what has happened?" Clearly Abby had noticed the smile that was permanently on Ziva's face.

"What are you talking about?" Ziva asked not stopping with smiling for a second

"You are, I don't know different Ziva. Tell me…"

"There is nothing"

"O yes there is, or maybe a who?"

"Why?" Ziva said unsure she wanted to go away

"So there is a someone, a who a significant other. Tell me everything about him"

"Abby I need to go, you will see in time" She told the Goth.

When Ziva walked away she was smiling from ear to ear, only at the thought of lying next to Tony again this night.

_**I have a photo...bucket account now, with pictures of this story and Mishpacha, now updated with photo of baby Emma**_


	9. Found Her

**CHAPTER 9 - Found Her

* * *

  
**

Another two weeks had passed and Tony and Ziva were still together. Stronger than ever. Gibbs noticed this, but he thought they would never break one of his rules. Little did he know that they had broken it already only a long time ago.

It was just your average Tuesday afternoon, just 2pm. When Ziva got a call.

"Shalom" She answered

"Ziva, twenty minutes Brandy's" And he hung up.

Ziva had recognized the voice, it was her contact. Only Kate was in the bull pen, she had to go now if she wanted to make it the car drive was twenty minutes.

"Kate, I have to go I will be back in an hour"

Before Kate could ask why she had left. She drove as fast as she could and almost jumped out of her car. She walked in the café and sat down. Very soon a man walked to her.

"Shalom Ziva" Drew Micheals said

"Shalom Drew, what do you have?" She knew he had little time to speak

"I may have found her"

Ziva's heart light up "Where I "

"I said I may have. It took me until now to infiltrate them they are really scared and all about who enters their group. I now almost belong to the standard crew, the ones not being killed. I heard them talk about a girl that was in the pand, but they don't let me near. I cannot give you the address now but I will when I know more. If it is Emma I will find her, I own you at least that. I need to go there probably watching"

And he left. Ziva's heart filled with more hope. It had to be Emma it just had to be.

Ziva got back in her car. And was ten minutes from NCIS and was driving on a road where no cars drove. There were trees on one side and the back of houses on the other. Suddenly a guy runs on the road, by a smaller road on the house side.

Ziva recognized him immediately, Drew. She wanted to stop but he screamed "Ziva go they" He fell on his face a whole in his head. She saw the car with men approach and made her car drive faster.

From behind she was being shot at. The van drove closer and was almost next to her. Again a shot, it scraped her temple and she almost let go of the wheel. This distraction was all the guys in the van needed with the van they pressed the mini of the road. It rode down the hill and came to a stop against a tree. The man thought the job was done and drove away.

**~At NCIS~**

Tony, Mcgee and Gibbs came back, Gibbs asked immediately "Where is Ziva?"

"She left about an hour ago, she should be back soon. I don't know to what she went, she left to quickly"

**~After half an hour~**

Ziva opened her eyes, a pain shot through her body. She lay out of her car which was totally broken. She felt the blood from her face and felt a pain in…well everywhere. She needed to get away. With much effort she got up and started walking to NCIS. She needed to tell Tony.

**~At NCIS~**

"Damn it where is Ziva, rule 3 never be unreachable" Gibbs barked at the team before he left to go to ducky.

"She better get here quick, or I fear she will not survive the wrath of Gibbs" Kate said

More than two hours had past from when Ziva had gone and she was still not back. Gibbs was behind his desk, angry on Ziva for leaving. And not answering the thousand calls they had made.

The elevator dinged no one looked up. Ziva stumbled a little as she walked to the bullpen, getting weird looks from the rest of the floor. She stood in front of Tony's desk when he noticed her

"Zi, damn what happened to you?" Tony said as he stood up it was now that Kate and Mcgee noticed that she was back Gibbs still didn't.

"There here Tony" She spoke, now Gibbs looked up.

"David, where the hell have you been?"

"Who Ziva?" Tony asked as he was in front of her.

"The man that…" She could not finish the sentence because everything went black.

Tony saw her eyes go away and her fall forward to him. He got her, it was only then he noticed that there was at gash on her face. And she looked like she had jumped into a pile of rocks, sure he had noticed the moment he saw her that she looked terrible. But he noticed those things more now she was lying in his arms unconscious.

"Call 9-1-1" Tony told McGee Kate and Gibbs rushed to Ziva.

Tony felt that her breathing was slowing down. "Kate make sure she does not lose anymore blood it seems as if she has lost a lot, I'll get Ducky" Gibbs yelled as he left.

Kate knelt down and took the blouse she got from Tony to press against Ziva's head. After that Tony was freaking out.

"Zi, wake up. Come one, I can't lose you too"

Than the doctors came and took her away saying they could ride behind. Tony Kate and Mcgee got in Kate's car. In the ride to it Tony was still freaking out, until Kate snapped

"Dinozzo, I don't know what it is between you to but keep your head clear" that actually helped. He calmed a little until they were in front of the ER because Ziva was ride in there. He sunk to a chair Mcgee next to him and Ducky comforting Abby. Kate walked to Gibbs.

"Gibbs can we talk"

Gibbs nodded and walked away with Kate.

"It's about Dinozzo, when you were gone he said I can't lose you too, to Ziva I think"

"I know Kate I noticed it to, I will look after it" and he would do as soon as Ziva was awake there was not a normal word coming from Tony right now.

They waited over an hour and a half before a doctor came to them.

"Hi I am doctor Visser are you family of Miss David"

"Dah-veed" they corrected

"I'll take that as a yes. Miss David has a severe concussion, five stitches in the wound by her hair line, and some minor scrape wounds. She has been really lucky, if I may ask, how did she get wounded in a federal agency where we took her"

"She was not harmed there, we don't know how; she walked to us like that"

The doctor nodded, though amazed that the woman had walked with a concussion and the blood leaking from her head wound.

"She is now sleeping we put a strong sedate on her, it should be out of her system tomorrow."

the team nodded

"Before I bring you to her, who of you is Emma"

Pain struck Tony's heart, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his noise.

"Neither of us, why?" Gibbs asked

"Mmm, she kept asking for Emma when she woke up in the ambulance before we brought her in the ER"

"We don't even know an Emma" Kate said

"Very well, I'll take you to her" Dr. Visser lead them to Ziva's room and let them in.

They all went in one by on and said there hopes to her before they left. Tony was the last one, at least he thought.

Gibbs had watched him walk in and sat down. Neither of the team had been like Tony. As if he was afraid he would lose his life if something happened to Ziva. With that thought Gibbs walked away. Tony sat next to her.

"Hey beautiful" he said to her when he stroke his hair "You scared me today. Don't ever do that, well maybe if we have Emma back and you are acting the way you were the day you told me I was going to be a father." He laughed. The doctor came in the room.

"Mister Dinozzo"

"yeah?"

"You seem to be closer to miss David that the rest. You were the only one who seem to know what she was talking about, may you know who Emma is?"

Tony sighed not taking his eyes of Ziva for a moment "Yes, Emma is our daughter, three and a half years ago she was abducted and we lost her"

The doctor nodded "And I guess that your team don't know this?"

"They don't know and I appreciate it if you did not tell them"

The doctor nodded "very well, but I have to ask you to leave the room even if you have a child, she will not be awake before at least 1pm so go home"

"May I have five minutes with her alone?" Tony asked not really wanting to leave Ziva.

"Of course" And he walked away, Tony knew he was standing outside the door.

Suddenly what was in his pocket didn't seem so heavy anymore. He got it out. It was her engagement ring, it was a half golden half silver ring, with three stones. He had put it in his pocket about a week ago, he was not thinking of asking her right then, it was just…after all he had not even known why had had put it in his pocket.

He held it in his hand and looked at Ziva, than he grabbed her hand and put the ring where it belonged.

"I said I wanted us to be the way we were, You moved in with me and put the photo back saying it was finally back where it belonged. Now it is my turn to place something on it's rightful place" He kissed her hand "It is back where it belongs" He kissed her for head and walked out the door. He had been right the doctor had been waiting. When Tony left he felt better, he was not going to lose her.

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_**Memory-Memory-Memory-Memory-Memory-Memory**

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_

When Tony had woken that morning Ziva was not beside him. That was weird she usually was there when he woke up. Even if she was just staring at him. He got out of bed and stumbled half asleep down the stairs to the kitchen. Ziva was busy working on breakfast; she did not even look up and softly mumbled a hello. After an hour Tony had left for work. He had been called in on Saturday, when he kissed Ziva on her cheek he could have sworn that she turned her head away.

That day Ziva went to the shop to buy a pregnancy test. She had her feelings. Impatiently she sat on the floor of the bathroom. Finally the minutes were over and she would know. She picked up the stick, closed her eyes and took a deep breath, opened her eyes.

Was what it read. Positive, pregnant. She got tears in her eyes from happiness. She ran to the phone to call Tony. Almost she had the number dialed in when she hesitated. They had not talked about children, they were barley living a year together. Maybe it was too soon she could not call Tony, not yet.

The week passed by, Ziva let loss hint fall about children Tony did not seem to notice. He only noticed that Ziva was very distant. Maybe she did not love him anymore, she turned the kisses down, and barley said a word to him. He would ask her when they both came home from work he said to himself.

And so that night:

"Ziva"

She did not even look up at him, so it was true what he thought, the love was gone

"If you do not love me anymore" he said bluntly

Ziva looked up in shock "Why would you say that?" _no he could not mean it, not now not now she had worked up the courage to tell him._

"That is what is going on, isn't it?"

"Going on, Tony I have"

"No I'm right, aren't I?"Tony got a bit angry this was too good to be true anyway, she was to perfect for him, too good to be true, with the light anger he rose his voice "You don't love me anymore. Please if that is it, than I don't know leave"

"I don't want" _Why was he being like this._

"Really if this was it, don't make it any harder than it has to be" a mix of worry and hurt came from his voice.

Ziva grabbed his face with both of her hands and made him look at her.

"I can never stop loving you"

"Then why are you acting like this there is something. Please let there not be someone ells"

"How can you even think that" Ziva said, damn hormones was it normal to have them so early, she thought when her eyes filled up with tears "You are the only one"

"Tell me" he said still angry and hurt

"I am pregnant" She threw out.

Silence was all that filled the room, until Ziva broke it.

"But if you are not ready, then I must, I mean than we"

She was shut up by Tony's lips on her mouth

"You are happy?"

Tony smile from ear to ear "Of course, I'm going to be a daddy"

"Then why were you?"

"I thought there was something wrong that you did not love me but this I. Wow, I had not expected this, I love you" he said and kissed her again. The tears of frustration and fear of being hurt left Ziva's eyes while they were in an embrace.

"We're going to have a baby" Tony said smiling into her hair. Which made Ziva smile also

**I know you think yeah sure she got in a car accident and walked away. It is highly unlikely but my best friend got hit by a car who drove through red hard and was thrown over the car, her elbow broke the back window and fell of and the only thing she had was a blue elbow and some myalgia.**

**When it happened to my friend I was the first one to be called by her mother and to tell it to our school class. I almost got a heart attack when I heard that she was hit by a car, but so happy and relieved when I heard her laughing at how shocked I was on the phone and telling me that it was noting serious.**

_Photo of the ring in my photo bucket thingy on my profile_


	10. Something Different

_I apologize for the long wait, please forgive me_

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**CHAPTER 10 – Something Different

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**

The next morning the whole team were at the hospital, but no one wanted to go in alone. Except Tony, but it was a bit hard with the rest of the team standing next to him. And he could not simply tell them "Yeah guys if you just want to wait outside I will go in and hope I see the eyes of the mother to my daughter" They were being called as soon as she was beginning to move in her sleep again. A sign she was now only sleeping and not because of the medication she got.

When Gibbs arrived with Ducky they all stepped in. The nurse had said that just this once, they could all go in. They softly walked in the room. Ducky sat down on the chair next to her. Gibbs leaned on the other bed that was not filled. Tony stood next to Kate, and McGee and Abby were on the other end of the room.

They all saw that she began to move, and within fifteen minutes her eyes fluttered open. None of them said a word though.

"Hello" she said as soon as she noticed them but so soft from the pain it caused that it was barely audible.

_Something felt different than before. I remember everything vaguely only the actual car crash and the walk to NCIS. But that is it. When I try to think to hard my head hurts._

Because her head hurt Ziva raised her hand to her head. Abby gasped. When Ziva placed her hand against her head she felt the coldness of something she thought she had left behind what seemed a life time ago.

"Ziva is that a…" Abby said, Ziva did not hear the rest of it.

She just looked at her hand, there it was. The ring he had given her, the ring which held the promise to be together no matter what, and the ring she had left on his nightstand years ago. She looked up at Tony, not believing he had 1) kept it all those years, 2) he gave it back to her now, even after everything.

"Tony what" Ziva managed to say

In the time she said that Tony walked to her and grabbed her hand the team watch with open eyes.

"It is back where it belongs" he said to her, there were tears forming in her eyes. How could he be so forgiving after everything she had done to him?

He leaned forward and kissed her. For the first time since she had come back, the awkwardness was gone, it was just them. It was a soft kiss, Tony didn't want to hurt Ziva but all the emotions were there. When they parted Ziva was weakly smiling through her tears. The smile may have been weak, but only because she did not have much strength, although the smile did reach her eyes. And the rest of the team saw for the first time the woman Tony had fell in love with. And the one to break this wonderful moment was Gibbs.

"What the hell is going on? Out you four!" he pointed at Kate McGee Abby and Ducky, they left though they had to pull Abby out, and Ducky gave Gibbs a look that told Gibbs to take it easy on them. When they were gone Tony and Ziva just looked at each other.

"Okay, now spit out, what is going on with you two?" Gibbs asked anger in his voice but not his face.

Tony hesitated for a moment and looked at Ziva. They said nothing until Ziva nodded weakly, and then Tony took a big breath and told Gibbs "Well, as you can see we are engaged, you could say again or still"

"How again?"

Ziva pressed her hands against her head, and started to make weird noises.

"Zi what's wrong?"

Gibbs run to the hall and called for a nurse, Ziva suddenly sat up, her hand went down from her head to her mouth, the nurse came in just in time to grab a bowl and hold it up for Ziva when the vomit came out of her mouth. This long after the time she got in throwing up was not a good sign. The nurse motioned for Gibbs and Tony to move out of the room, but after seeing how Ziva held Tony's hand she let him stay. The checkup went fast, Ziva got some more painkillers and Tony was being told that they had to try and keep her as calm as possible.

Then the nurses walked back out to the waiting room, where the team where.

"Everything is fine with Miss David, but give her a moment to calm down. Her concussion is a little bit worse than we thought at first, but everything is under control right now. She may want to sleep, so you can all go home. But that is up to her" And she walked away.

Tony sat down next to Ziva holding her hand, he saw she was tired, but she still managed to speak

"Tony, we have to tell them, all of them not just Gibbs"

Tony looked up to her and nodded "But not now, tomorrow you need to rest" he kissed her head and wanted to walk away.

"Please do not leave" Ziva asked. Tony turned around and grabbed her hand for a second really tight.

"I will be back in a second" He told her, which relaxed her enough to let go of his hand and let him walk to the others.

When the others saw him coming Abby was the first one that jumped up and started to question Tony. "What is going on? Why did you kiss Ziva and that ring?"

"Not now Abby" Tony said "We will tell you everything tomorrow" that he said while looking at Gibbs "_All_ of you, but right now Ziva needs her rest, she needs to sleep" with that Tony walked back to Ziva. He was just in time that he could see her eyes close.

He sat next to her, he only left her to eat but was back in half an hour. In the night the nurses did not send him away so he fell asleep with his head on his arms, on Ziva's bed.

And like Tony had thought the team were there the next morning. Ziva had been awake just ten minutes; she had drunk something so her throat did not hurt as much. They all sat down, Gibbs was the first one to speak

"Well spit out, the **whole** story" he ordered.

Tony began just as yesterday. "Well as you can see we are still or again, depends on how you look at it, engaged"

This time Abby broke him of "Again?"

"Yes Abby, we were engaged before. A little longer than five and a half years ago we met each other, we had been together for less than two years when I asked her to marry me" They both smiled at the memory.

"Why did you not marry then?" Kate asked

The smiles that were on their faces melted like snow on a hot summer day. This time it was Ziva who spoke up "We were together for a year when I found out I was pregnant, we had a beautiful little girl"

"Is that Emma my dear?" Ducky asked, Ziva nodded

Gibbs turned to Tony "Then where the hell is your daughter? I don't care what went wrong with you two then, even if we did not know about it, I think your daughter deserves to see her mother"

Tony head fell down; Ziva knew that it was up to her to tell. With tears in her eyes she spoke up, everyone culd hear the sadness in her voice, which also reached her eyes.

"She is gone" it was nothing more than a whisper

"How gone?" Gibbs asked. Abby, McGee and Kate all looked at each other in a worried way.

"Three years ago, we came back from Israel, and she was…" the tears now fell from her eyes "She was taken from us" Tony put his arms around her to let her know it was okay to cry, and let her know that he was there for her.

Gibbs temper changed "Why did you not tell us? We could have searched"

"You don't think we didn't!" Tony snapped "We searched for her for half a year, by then we did not speak and we barley saw each other, it just, we couldn't do anymore, but we never stopped searching"

"Drew" Ziva whispered

"What?" Tony asked her

"Drew, he had information, and he was" it all came flashing back "Shot"

They gave Ziva time to think "I remember"

The talk with Drew, the shot "I was driving back to NCIS when he ran on the street screaming that I had to go. He fell down with a whole in his head, there was a black car driving behind me. The man inside of the car shot at me, when the bullets broke my window I was slightly hit" She raised her hand to the cut on her for head "they pushed me of the road"

"Ziva who are they? What information?" Tony asked eager to know.

"Drew was the one undercover. He was supposed to infiltrate the group that probably holds Emma, he told me they were talking about a girl, and he said he would contact me if he found out that it was Emma. If he had not contacted me than he would" she was broken by her own sobs. Tony held her close.

"I think that is enough Jethro" Ducky said Gibbs looked at him, and wanted to ask more, but Ducky gave him a stern look and pushed them all out.

When they were standing outside of the room Gibbs spoke

"McGee, Abs, see what you can find out about Drew Michaels and his op. Kate see what you can find out about Emma, talk to Ziva and Tony but wait until tomorrow"

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**R&R, Please tell me what you think of the story, what you like/don't like etc.**


	11. He Really Fell Down

**Okay I know you guys have waited long for this chapter, sorry for that. Just I was in a slight dip with school, and vid making and writing. But to make it up to you a rather long chapter, at least for my doing.**

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**Chapter 11 He Really Fell Down**

The next morning, she went to the hospital. When she walked in, she saw Tony rubbing Ziva's hand. For all those years she had been wrong. He was not the skirt chaser she held him for. He probably did it to not have to talk about Emma or Ziva. Now she thought of it was kind of sad, had he each time she mocked him because of his dates, thought of Ziva?

"Hey" She whispered, when she walked to him, trying to be soft when she noticed that Ziva was still asleep.

Tony looked up from Ziva "Hey"

"Gibbs asked me to talk to you; I'll wait till Ziva wakes up"

"am mmke" Ziva mumbled

Tony laughed "Maybe you want to open those pretty eyes of yours." He told her

She did and he said "Good morning honey"

Ziva smiled and tried to hit him "I told you when you fell for me not to call me that, ever again."

Now it was Kate who laughed "What?" Tony asked

"It just sounds weird Tony. I know you as the skirt chaser, Big D, always a new girl each night, not as a guy who falls in love for a girl"

"Oh he really fell down" Ziva said as brightly as she could after just waking up.

Tony mumbled some sort of thanks to Ziva, Kate asked further "How fell down?"

"Well we ran into each other he tried to impress me and he slipped over a bit of ice"

When Tony thought about that moment he had a smile on his face that had been his best fall down ever.

Sadly Kate got quickly to the point. "Gibbs has asked me to talk to you, about Emma. He wants to know everything, mostly how she was…..taken" Kate did not dare to speak the words but Tony and Ziva understood.

Ziva began to speak "We had been in Israel, to visit my father. The director of Mossad"

As she said this Kate's eyes grew big for a moment, but only a moment. Let's just say that she had heard stories

"He was not able to visit us, he had been there on the day Emma was born, right after he had seen her he was forced back to Israel for his work but he was there. He wanted to see his granddaughter again so we went. We had been there for two weeks; we came back in my father's jet"

Tony took over "We just stepped out of the plane, I was showing Emma a photo of us trying to get her to talk, the airplane had left already when a dark van came, I do not remember how many came out but this one guy he walked to Ziva who holding Emma" Memories of that day flashed through both of their minds.

They told the whole thing until the point where the man was holding a gun to Ziva, Gibbs came just in to check on Tony and Ziva and to see how they were holding up "He said to me: "that you will suffer the way that I did" he said something about his daughter and" Ziva began to breathe harder and faster like she was hyperventilating, or rather her lungs were crying out for oxygen.

"Zeev, what's wrong?" Tony asked worried

"I cannot remember what he said Tony. What if what he said is the key to finding Emma" Ziva said her tone angry but it was all directed at herself.

"Shhhh, Zi, you will remember if it is important" Tony promised Ziva. He noticed that she was not herself now, probably still because of the antibiotic she had gotten yesterday, he thought.

Tony exchanged a look with Kate, who nodded and left. When she walked out the door she bumped into Gibbs.

"How is she holding up?" Gibbs asked

"Strong" Was all Kate said before she left.

Gibbs stayed for a very short while, he looked through the window, and he knew that Ziva could go home today, he was glad the secret was out. Now they could help, even if Tony and Ziva had almost given up hope.

When Kate arrived back she saw that no one was in the bullpen, so she took the elevator down to Abby's lab. And she was right there they both were, McGee and Abby. Both working on finding the daughter of their friends.

"Did you find anything?" Kate asked, which made McGee and Abby turn around.

Abby typed something and McGee started to speak.

"Not much, the only thing we found was, Emmanuella Dinozzo, born 7th of June. And then on the 16th of May she disappears from the face of the earth"

"Yep, that's what Ziva and Tony told me" Kate said "what else you got?"

"I told you it was the only thing we found, we are still trying to get the tapes from the airport, seeing if anything was missed by Mossad, but getting the tapes is the hard part. Mossad does not like sending things over mail they will be here next week, delivered by a Mossad officer."

Shortly after that McGee left, and Abby turned to Kate. Kate noticed that Abby was on the verge of tears.

"What is the matter Abby?" She asked

"You remember when we had our girl night?" Kate nodded "You also remember how Tony reacted, and how Ziva was after we asked her if she wanted to have children?" Kate began to see where this was going "What if we hurt them really bad then, what if"

"Abby, we did not know, and I know Ziva and Tony understand that" She hugged Abby since she saw it was needed.

At that same moment, the hospital discharged Ziva she was free to go home. Tony signed the papers and listened to the doctor, who told him that Ziva was not allowed to be alone for at least the first three days, and that she should be woken every two hours when she slept. Then he and Ziva walked to his car. When they arrived home, Tony put in a movie and sat down besides Ziva. When the movie was finished Ziva had fallen asleep, Tony decided to let her sleep while he cooked. When he was just finished Ziva had woken from the smell. They ate their meal in silence.

After dinner, Ziva had fallen asleep on the couch again; the medicine had just begun to work out. Tony saw it as a time to quickly take a shower and change. He had just put on some clean clothes when he heard Ziva screaming. As fast as he could he run downstairs, he saw she was still sleeping, well more likely having a nightmare so he woke her. When she opened her eyes, she shot up and grabbed hold of Tony. Tony tried to calm her, when she had calmed down she let go of Tony but the tears were not from her eyes.

"What's wrong Zi?" Tony asked.

"I remembered"

"Remembered what?"

"What I could not remember, what he told me, well not so much what he told me but why he took her. I remember the reason why he took Emma from us Tony."

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**What do you think?**

**Review!  
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	12. Innocent Child

**And here the chapter you have all waited very long and paciently on. The reason Why Emma was taken. **

**Hope you like it and forgive me for not updating for so long.**

**Also thank you Vicky for being my beta, you are an angel**

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**Chapter 12 - innocent child**

A sixteen year old Ziva David stood in the corner of a dark, and above all, dirty room. It was one of the many rooms in the building, where they were hiding. She had been chosen by her father to go on her first mission out of Israel. She had been so proud that she was allowed to go; they were to catch just one man and break him for information. He had been on one of the top lists of Mossad to catch. He did not have a large terrorist group, but a strong one none the less. They were underground, a place with only four rooms. One interrogation, one room where the prisoners would be put in and two where the officers were. Ziva and one other officer had to wait until the other came back with the man.

When they came back however they did not only have one prisoner, they also had a little girl with them. Ziva wanted to know why, but she knew it was not her place to ask questions so she held her tongue. Every day for a week long, they tortured the man to get information from him, but he did not give in. Ziva had stood in the corner of every interrogation. She had seen every blow, every kick the man had gotten, and every drop of blood that left his body. At the end of the week her superior came to her.

"David"

"Yes sir" She had answered.

"I know your father sent you with us because he believes you have it in you to be one of us."

"That is correct sir"

"Now it is time to prove that, see this as your last test; if you fail lets just say you will suffer the same faith as every other officer who disobeys an order"

With that he motioned for her to go to interrogation. She walked in and waited she had no idea what would happen. Then her superior came in with the girl, the girl Ziva had forgotten all about. The girl looked dirty and very hungry; there were marks from her tears, on her face. The officer placed her in front of Ziva. The man looked up,

"No, no Alyssa"

"Officer David" her superior said while making a single move of hitting the little girl "take over"

Ziva did not believe her ears and eyes, when ever that was said it was meant that she took over the torture, but this little girl.

"Am I clear officer David?" he said

Ziva nodded slowly and made a fist. If she did not do this her father would not even look at her anymore, she would not be allowed to see any of her family or friends ever again, she would not be welcome in Israel anymore, and probably most definitely she would not even make it out of this country alive. She closed her eyes and hit the little girl. It hurt her inside when she heard the girl start to cry.

The man also kept yelling, but still he gave no answers, Ziva was ordered to continue, and do more than just hit the little girl. She kicked the girl, threw her against the wall. In the end the girl's screams would have made the toughest wrestler cry by only hearing it. And the father of the girl was screaming and crying with his girl. At one point Ziva made the mistake of looking up and into the eyes of the father, nothing, but hate was there. Ziva wanted to stop now, the girl would still live, but her superior gave her a knife. There were more questions asked with no answers though the man could not speak them if he wanted through his tears. When her superior nodded Ziva grabbed the knife and first cut the girls arms, which made her cry even more if it was possible, the blood of the girl also streamed down of the knife onto Ziva's hands. Another sign, Ziva took a deep breath and placed the knife into the stomach of the girl, more blood came out and changed the color of Ziva's hand, to a disgusting color red, and the girl fell down. That was when they had broken the man. The knife was taken from Ziva and she was told to take the girl to their prison room, until they had time to dispose her.

With tears Ziva was fighting away in her eyes she picked up the broken body of the girl who was still crying. Ziva placed the girl on the ground but could not get it over her heart to let the girl die alone. So she sat down next to the girl, who suddenly looked up at her, frightened. Ziva raised her hand and softly stroke the hair of the girl with her blooded hand.

"Shhh, it is okay, you will be free from the pain, just let go, it will be okay" Ziva whispered to the girl. As she watched how the girl stopped with crying and in the end stopped breathing and blinking her eyes. Ziva carefully closed the eyes of the girl, and let a tear fall herself. Why did this little girl have to die, by her hand? The girl had done nothing wrong. When Ziva looked at her hands and her clothes she knew that the blood of this little girl could not be washed away. It was then that she decided that no matter what she would never kill another innocent child.


	13. It's Horrible, It's Pink

**Hey guys, okay so I was away from this story for quit some time. I have been way to busy with school and stuf then a full week in Italy which was great, then a three day weekend with my school in Paris. If anyone wants to know about it ask!**

**Also somehow FanFiction stopped sending me e-mail when I get an story alert/favorite, or reviews, anyone ellse the same problem?**

**And as last, updating will be faster for at least about 3 chapters since they already have been checked, thank you Vicky, and I am currently writing chapter 20 so let us hope it will be faster. Also I have been a little mean letting you hang with a cliffy like that. I just want to say I apprisiate all the reviews, you guys are awesome!**

**CHAPTER 13 - it's horrible, it's pink**

When Ziva had stopped telling the story tears were streaming down her face, Tony's face however was filled with anger.

"Tony please say something." Ziva begged

Tony looked at her "So that is why? That is why they took Emma."

Ziva only could nod, through her tears she watched Tony. "Because you were the monster that killed an innocent little girl"

"you have to understand I had orders"

"You could have said no" Even though Tony knew that Ziva was not able to say no he stil was angry. Because of what Ziva had done, his little girl, his Emma was taken, as revenge. "You did not have to become like them, you did not have to become a monster. I cannot believe how I ever could love you God, I cannot even…"

With that Tony flew out the door, he grabbed his keys and his coat, Ziva closed her eyes against the loud sound of the door closing.

Ziva knew he would not comeback, she knew him to well. Ziva stood up determent to go after him. When she stood up the room spined around her. And she fell back down again, then she felt tears building up in her eyes again. She took the phone and pressed the first number that came into her mind.

"Kate Todd" was the answer on the other side of the line.

"Kate…It's Ziva. Could you please" then Ziva's sobs began.

"I'll be there in a few minutes" Kate said without thinking.

It was only when she sat in her car that she wondered why Ziva had been sobbing. And more because she wondered why Ziva had called her, was Tony not supposed to be with her.

When she arrived maybe ten minutes later and she reached the door she heard no sound coming from inside.

"Ziva, It's Kate I am here" Kate called no sound, Kate felt the door, open, when she walked in she saw Ziva lying on the couch curled up in a ball. Softly Kate walked to her knelt down beside her, Kate rose a hand and put it on Ziva's shoulder. Then Ziva suddenly looked up

"Tony" but then she saw Kate. Kate saw that Ziva's eyes were red, and about to burst from tears once again.

"What happened Ziva? Where is Tony?" Kate asked.

Ziva slowly sat up and Kate sat down beside her. "I remembered…I remembered why Emma was taken from us. And it is my fault." Then she broke down once again, Kate did her best to comfort Ziva. After a while Ziva fell asleep, Kate did not know exactly what happened but she had known Tony long enough to know one thing. If he was upset or angry over something he had the habit of going crazy. Him going crazy could mean that he was going to get really drunk and come really hangover at work the next day. But now it involved his daughter so Kate did not know how he would react what she did now was that he needed to be found, she watched Ziva for a moment then pulled out her cell and dialed Tony's number.

"Hellowey" It sounded on the other side of the phone. Oh great he was drunk, Kate thought.

"Tony, where are you"

"Katie, I'm just, wowwww hang on…" then the line went dead.

The next number Kate dialed was McGee's.

"Kate, why do you call so late?" McGee asked.

"I need a favor from you McGee. Can you trace Tony's cell and go after him, he is drunk but something happened between him and Ziva and it got them both upset, as far as I heard from Ziva Tony left angry"

"Yeah okay, I'll call you when I found him"

McGee went to work immediately; he took out his computer and started a trace. That was strange, why would Tony be all the way out there? Well it did not really matter but he had to hurry before Tony would do something he would regret afterwards. McGee got in his car and drove a little over the speed limit. Oh he hoped so much that he would not run into the cops. That could get ugly, it was soon as he drove out of DC and to Maryland it was not a really long drive but McGee was concerned none the less. If Tony had driven that far drunk it was not good.

When McGee reached the outside of the forest he got out of the car. He looked at his own cell which told him the exact direction to go. And finally he saw Tony, well it was a black figure standing on the bridge, and he hoped it was Tony.

He rushed to the bridge and as he came closer and closer he could see that it was indeed Tony who was standing on the bridge.

"Tony" He called out when he was close by enough.

Tony turned to the sound. "Hey, Timmyboy"

Yes Tony was definitely still drunk, and real bad to.

"Come on Tony we have to get you home"

McGee was now standing only a step away and he could smell the alcohol.

"We have to get you home to Ziva"

"Zivvva"

"Yes, to Ziva, comeon" McGee put his hand on Tony's shoulder and tried to pull him with him but even in his drunken state Tony was stronger than McGee.

"No" he said as strong as he could "Zivv lied"

McGee was just at a lost what to say. He did not know what happened between them, Kate did not said that much.

"Be…becauseof her my babygirlz gone" He slurred.

"That is not true Tony, it was none of either one of your fault"

"You know thisiz where I first told Ziva I loved her. And now, she threw it back in my face. There is just no reason anymore"

And before McGee could wrap his mind around what Tony was trying to say he had jumped. Shit McGee thought as he run to the railing to look what happened to Tony.

"Tony!" he called out. Searching the dark surface of the water, just when he thought that Tony had somehow vanished there were air bubbles coming to the surface. And shortly after Tony himself, only to go down almost immediately after that. Shit, McGee thought again, he stood on the railing and jumped in after Tony. The water was cold when he hit it but that was not him main worry right now. He needed to find Tony, he took a big breath and dove down where he had seen Tony going under. And yes, even if the water was so dark McGee could not see a thing he could see the air rising. That was shortly before coming in contact with Tony. He grabbed what he thought was his arm and pulled him to the surface. When they both came up McGee took a big breath and hear Tony gasp for air to. It was hard swimming with him to land but he managed. When he got Tony on soar they both were gasping for air.

"What the hell were you thinking" McGee managed to get out.

Tony did not answer. McGee pulled him up after catching his breath. He put Tony in the car and turned up the heat. He noticed Tony had fallen asleep almost right away, after he touched the fabric of the car seat. McGee sat next to him and pulled out his phone.

"Kate?" McGee said into the phone as soon as there had been answered. "I've got him. I will take him to my place tell Ziva not to worry"

After Kate had hung up she looked at the clock, two hours had gone by, time to wake Ziva up again to check if everything was okay.

"Ziva" Kate said as she had walked into the bedroom and was now aproacingZiva. Ziva shot up but falling down an instant after that because her head hurt and it made her dizzy.

"Where is he Kate?" Ziva asked, Kate could hear the pain in Ziva's voice as she spoke.

"McGee found him Ziva, he is okay. Go back to sleep, I will be in the living room"

Just before Kate closed the door she heard Ziva mumble something, it seemed as if she had mumbled the words _no pink_

**Memory_Memory_Memory_memory**

"Okay what about this color" Tony held up a can with bright pink paint in it.

"Tony that is horrible. It is pink" Ziva said back as she put her hands on her belly that had visibly grown. "What if we are having a boy?" she said.

Tony put the can back in the rack, as Ziva had he walked further into the paint store. "Okay but what do you think it will be?"

"I know as much as you do how would I be able to tell"

"Dunno, some women claim that they can tell if their baby will be a boy or a girl"

"Well, I do not care, girl or no girl I am not forcing anything on her. Do you know how horrible it is to have pink walls when the only thing you want to do is play sports and not dolls and dress up"

"MMM, speaking of experience?" Tony said grinning as he put his arms around Ziva and on her belly and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Well we can always go for a soft green, and the ceiling blue. If it is a boy we can paint I don't know dino's on it and if it is a girl we can paint flowers on it"

"love that idea Tony" She said as he grabbed the color he meant, right at that moment the baby kicked. "And our small one here also likes it"


	14. Can You Promise Me Something

**CHAPTER 14 - Can You Promise Me Something**

When the morning had come and Kate had woken Ziva up again Ziva did not speak, not even a single word. After they ate Ziva still had said nothing to Kate. Kate sighed deeply. "Ziva he is going to be okay. You two are going to be okay."

The only thing Ziva did was look up, at that moment Kate realized. From the moment that Ziva had called Kate she had not thought that it was going to be okay. This scarred Kate a little, had Ziva so little trust in Tony. Kate was really wondering now what had happened. What Ziva exactly had told Tony.

With Tony and McGee.

When Tony finally woke up he had a headache like he had never had before. Slowly he opened his eyes where the hell was he, when his sight became less blurry he spotted McGee. How did he end up with McGee?

"See you are finally awake" McGee said, a little to loud for Tony's liking so he closed his eyes again and mumbled a not so loud to McGee. "Well it's your own fault" McGee held up a cup of coffee which Tony drank great full. After the cup of coffee and a little time he was a little more awake.

"What happened? How did I end up here?" He asked McGee.

"You don't remember. Well I am not surprised" At that moment Tony started coughing. For a moment McGee got scared, it was not that long ago sinse Tony had had the plaque, maybe just a year, not even a year.

"Relax McGee" With those two words McGee knew that Tony had seen the fear in his eyes. "Just tell me what happened."

"Well Kate called me last night that you and Ziva had a fight and you ran away"

Tony put his hands on his face for a moment, then pulled them through his hair, he did not want to think about his fight with Ziva right now he just, a cough again. "How did Kate know?"

"Apparently Ziva called her while crying. And when she was with Ziva she called me, she said she tried to call you but that you was kind of drunk. It took me a long while to find you, had to trace your cell phone. I found you on a bridge, you were talking for a while, not really things that made sense but you talked. Then you stepped on the railing and jumped into the water. I jumped after you and had to pull you through the shore. You slept the way to my appartment"

Tony put his hands on his face, muffled he said to McGee "I screwed up"

McGee was silent because he knew that if he said something Tony would shut down, and not speak about it.

"I should not have yelled at her, it is not her fault where she grew up, how she grew up. And it could have easily happened because of me because on of the people I have put behind bars. Damn, I cannot make this right, not anymore, I wasted my second chance by running out on her. I've got to clear my mind" He stood up grabbed his now dry coat and was about to walk out the door when McGee stopped him.

"Relax McGee it does not involve drinking anything ells than coffee I can assure you" With that he walked out the door. He needed to not think for a moment. And like that he came out with Gibbs 'basement.

He walked down the stairs Gibbs only looked up then continued to work. An hour had past when Gibbs put his tools down and grabbed to glasses of bourbon, to which he held one to Tony.

"I've got enough already boss"

Gibbs took a few drinks before he finally asked "Why are you here Tony, why here and not with Ziva?"

"Because I screwed up, and I cannot make it right"

"Tell me what happened"

"Yesterday when we came home… She remembered why Emma was taken…" Then Tony stopped

"You can tell me Tony"

Tony looked at Gibbs, he knew that when he told Gibbs there was no going back. But it was Gibbs, and he would only trust one other person with his life next to Gibbs.

"When she was still with mossad, well actually just with mossad, she said she was 16, she had a mission. She told me that they had caught a guy, but also his daughter. From her supperiour she got the task to hit and kick and cut the girl in front of her father. In the end she had to kill her. That is why the father of that girl came after Emma, out of revenge. God, I could see in her eyes that she has never forgiven erself for what she had done that day and still I threw it back in her face. I told her she was a cold blooded killer, that I did not know why I ever loved her. I would do anything to take it back, take it all back, she did not deserve it. It is not her fault" Tony did his very best not to let the tears fall down from his eyes.

"Well Tony, why are you here than? And not with Ziva. She is the one who needs to hear this not me!"

Tony looked at Gibbs he rarely called him Tony only when he truly spoke to him like a son.

"How can I Gibbs? I wasted my second chance with her by running out on her, I do not have a third change."

Gibbs sighed "You do. You love her don't you?"

"Yes"

"And she loves you?"

"After this I am not so sure anymore"

"but you were sure before?"

"Yes, no doubt"

"Then do not waste time by thinking about how many chances you've got. In love there is no limit."

Tony let the words sink in. Was Gibbs right?

"What are you waiting for Tony, get your butt to her right now!"

_Of course was Gibbs right, he is always right._

Tony yelled a thanks to Gibbs as he run up the stairs. Had walked all the way to their house, as he walked through the door he walked just into Kate. She just looked at him and nodded, then she said

"Ziva is still in bed, good luck" Then she walked out of the door.

Tony walked up the stairs, he hesitated before opening the door to their bedroom. There she was, she was lying on the bed her back to him. He walked around the bed, and sat down on the chair that stood there waiting for her to wake up. She started to move.

"Kate, is Tony alright" she asked on a voice that cracked a little. Tony's heart almost broke at hearing this, after all he had said to her.

"I am okay Zi" he told her, at the hearing of his voice her eyes shot wide open.

"Your here"

"Actually I am not okay" He stood up and sat down so that he could really look her in her eyes, but when he started to talk he looked at his hands. "And that is because I… what I did yesterday. I should not have yelled at you, and definitely not have said the things that I did, because they are not true. I have no idea what happened to me, I guess I was hurt, not because of you but for you, for what you had to do, no human should have to do that. And I let it show to you as anger, god Zi I told you that I did not love you. But that is not true, I love you with whole my heart, whole my soul, everything I have in me. The only thing that I can hope for is that you will forgive me, love me again. If I could I would take it all back Zi, I would take it all back, you did not deserve this, please forgive me"

It was only after that he was done with talking that he dared to look up from his hands. He looked in her eyes, she was crying he noticed. She grabbed one of his hands and his shoulder than pulled him into her. He wrapped his arms around her and she started to really cry, and he hold her. Halfway through she managed to speak.

"I forgive you…I already had….the moment you walked out of that door"

He held her even closer after that and he noticed that he cried himself too. Slowly the cries stopped.

"Lay with me please?" Ziva asked him, Tony stood up walked around bed kicked his shoes of, which were completely ruined by his midnight dive, and lay next to her. And again he wrapped his arms around her.

"Can you please promise me something?" She asked her voice almost so soft he did not hear it, almost.

"Anything"

"Never, never ever walk out like that again, you made me promise it, and I want you to do the same. I would not know what would happen with me if you walked out like that again"

"I promise Zi, I promise, it's okay go to sleep" he finished. He knew she was tired, and he hold her for almost an hour after that.

Then Tony slowly slipped out of bed. If Ziva would wake up again she would be hungry no doubt. So he went to the kitchen and started to cook. And if it was by the smell of food or not, when he was almost finish she walked into the kitchen. They looked at each other and they knew that everything was forgiven, everything was right again. They did not have secrets, or bottled up emotions any more, they could only grow from here.

**Please review and let me know what you think**


	15. They Made A Mistake

**Shorter chapter than the others still hope you like it.**

* * *

**Chapter 15 - They made a mistake**

It was a week after Ziva had been released from the hospital; no one asked Tony or Ziva about what exactly had happened, they did not need to know. They all saw thought, that the two of them were stronger than forever. Tony had told Ziva what he had done after he left her, in return Tony also called McGee to say thanks, as Ziva did with Kate.

Ziva was just allowed to go back to work and into the field when they got a call.

"Grab your gear, dead marine in leavedop"

When they came to the scene they were a little shocked, the man and the woman had been slaughtered. There was blood everywhere, and it seemed to be random, everyone thought it was random even ducky, when he estimated the time of dead a little after five in the morning.

"No it is not random" Ziva spoke up

Everyone looked at her until Gibbs asked "And why do you think that agent David?"

"I do not think it, I know it. When I was with Mossad we often got victims like this, if you look closely you can see that there, there, there, there, and there are less blood than on every other place" she said as she pointed out all the places. "This much blood can only come from a trained and very controlled person, well multiple ones, they probably moved in circling way round the victims. This must have taken at least an hour. The human body can lose a lot blood until the person dies, much more than you would think"

When Gibbs looked better he saw she was right, he had seen this once or twice before when he had been an active marine, he nodded at her.

"Your right, Ziva pictures, McGee sketch, when you are done help DiNozzo with bag and tagging. I'll be out talking to the neighbor."

The left neighbor he rang the bell of did not open, then he went to the right neighbor. An old lady opened.

"O good morning" She greeted Gibbs.

"Morning ma'am, agent Gibbs NCIS, were you the one to call?"

"My name is Dora Jones, and yes I was agent Gibbs" Dora who seemed to be in her late sixties said.

"Would you tell me what happened."

"Of course why would I have called if I would not, but please come in? I am an old lady and do not like to stand for a long time in the door with this weather" It was true it was turning winter fast. Gibbs followed her inside and once they sat down she continued to talk.

"Lately I do not sleep very long at nights; I was up round four am. I just did my things, it was then that I heard a car drive into the street and stop next door, so I looked. You see agent Gibbs it is not normal that there are cars driving here at that time. I did not get a good look of the people that came out, but they went inside next door then it was quiet. So I just assumed that it was family that had come from out of this state or something."

"So you say you did not hear anything?" Gibbs asked

"Not the slightest sound, well that was until an hour or five. I had just opened the curtains; you know to see the sun rise when they came out. If not I would have looked anyway because of the girl"

"Girl?"

"Yes, there were four men almost running out of the house, one of them pulled a little girl with them. From what I could see the girl was crying and trying to get away. They put her in the van and drove away. That was when I knew that something was not right, true the Adams did not have children but you do not treat your child like that. So I went to look, I rang the door bell but after five minutes there was still no answer, no sound at all. That is when I called you, I knew something was not right. They are dead are they not agent Gibbs?"

"I am sorry to say yes ma'am"

Dora nodded "That was all I assume"

"Almost, can you describe the girl to me?"

"No unfortunately I cannot, it was still too dark, the only thing I know was that the girl has to be…well I would say five maybe six, and she had long hair, that is all I could see I am afraid"

Gibbs nodded "Thank you ma'am for the information, if you can think of anything ells do not hesitate to call"

"You the same agent Gibbs." Dora wanted to stand up

"It's okay, I will find the way to the door."

When he came back to where the team was he barked at them "I want no mistakes on this one. There is a little girl involved, now go on"

Tony and Ziva looked at each other, Ziva shook her head. It was not possible that after this time they made a mistake.

* * *

**Did you like leave a review!**

**Who can quess what's gonna happen next, I am curious of what you expect**


	16. Child Involved

**OMG it has been so long. And honestly I do not really have a reason. I forgot I was even writing stories. Chapter 17, 18 and 19 are send to my beta to be checked though. Something I should have done a long time ago because they were written when this one was being checked by her.**

**Though I need you help, I am stuck, no idea how to continu, I lost my idea's so if anyone would want to brainstorm with me. Please leave a pm or review I really need your help**

**Chapter 16 - Child Involved**

Gibbs was worse than ever, not that anyone looked up at this, there was a child involved. Tony and Ziva shot each other more glances than ever. They both knew that they were thinking of the same, not about work, but about Emma. Almost it seemed as if they could see what the other was thinking. What was happening to Emma right now, was she still alive, was she healthy.

* * *

It was dark and cold in the room where a little girl was hidden in a corner. Only a blanket that had holes because it was the only thing that was moved with the girl time on time. Long before the door opened there were heavy footsteps heard on the concrete floor. The locks were removed and the door opened with a squeak. If it was possible the girl made herself even smaller.

"_Get up_" The man said to her. He was very tall, at least in the girls eyes. And he always seemed to smell of cigarettes and alcohol.

The girl did not obey immediately angry he walked at her grabbed her hair and dragged her out of the room. The girl was begging him to let go, he only did that when she was thrown in the back of a van. There was one woman sitting in the back to, but she had already grabbed her knife and seemed ready to attack at any moment. When the doors closed the girl crawled in a corner again.

She had never seen her before, though. The woman had hair that was blond but at the top of her hair it was black, her nails were long and painted a bright red, just like her lips. The woman smelled a little nicer than the man had done, then the girl remembered her mother. It was strange almost five years had passed but she still could remember the way her mother smelled. It was soft and sweet, she always seemed to smell like fresh herbs, and a garden full of flowers.

The girl was suddenly pulled out of the van, she looked around, it was still dark but they were in a place whit many more houses than from where they had come. She did not know where they were so she decided to stay quiet. They walked into the house and two people came. The woman looked scared at her, but she did not dare to say a word. The two people were tied down and had a gag in their mouths. The smelling man had firmly gripped her shoulders and was laughing whenever the woman who smelled like cheap perfume hit the man or the woman. The girl began to cry, there was blood everywhere, even on her, she tried to get away but the man's grip was to strong. He made her watch made her watch all of it. Then the woman pulled out her knife again, first she slit the throat of the woman then of the man. The girl tried to break free again, they had killed the two people they had killed them, while they had done nothing. It was then that the girl started to scream. As fast as they could the people walked outside, the badly smelling man pulling the girl with him, she was struggling to get free, a freedom that did not come.

* * *

"What do you got?" Gibbs asked while he almost running into the bullpen. But it stayed silent, McGee looked up at

"Nothing yet boss" McGee said as Tony and Ziva did not seem to notice.

"Well, keep digging" Gibbs barked at them.

That had been almost a week ago, they had gotten another case in between because they could not find anything, still Gibbs reminded them of it every day, and they all kept digging.

In the bullpen there was tension, not something you wanted to come between. Abby did not even come out of her lab anymore but let McGee or Gibbs come down. Even the mail man seemed to notice because he normally would make a little talk with Tony but now he almost threw the post on the desks and left. The bullpen was also very quiet, no jokes of Tony no banter or flirting between Tony and Ziva.

All they did was come to work early in the morning sit behind their desks beginning to work then late at night leaving for home together. When they were home they would just shower and go to bed, the last night they had been lying in each other's arms since the night that Tony had been home after their fight, they each slept on the other side of the bed. The case with the girl had gotten to them, all they could think of was Emma, and it was about to become even worse.

They were now working full time on the case with the girl. Again Gibbs came walking in

"Have any of you got anything" Gibbs asked, he was becoming more irritated as more days passed.

"YES" McGee almost yelled "I found out a connection between the dead marine and a terrorist group." He said "The marine was suspected of having access to a small amount of c-4 and a lot of weapons " McGee said.

"Good work, keep digging McGee" Gibbs answered.

"DiNozzo David, my office now!"

They solemnly stood up and followed Gibbs in the elevator. When they were in and Gibbs switched the elevator off they seemed to become aware of where they were.

"Speak!" Gibbs said a little harsh

Neither one of them spoke.

"I've had enough of this! Wha's going on"

"With what Gibbs?" Ziva asked

"You two! You do not speak to each other, everyone on the whole damn floor notices it."

"Well what do you expect us to be Gibbs" Tony said on a very angry tone, as if all the emotions bottled up inside of him over the past few weeks came out. "Do you expect us to feel nothing, to pretend like it does not remember us of Emma! Well?"

Gibbs said nothing for a moment. Tony flipped the switch the doors opened "I thought so" then he stormed out, Ziva tried to stop him but he threw her arm of him.

Ziva looked at Gibbs, hurt in her eyes, but she did not run away like Tony.

"You two need to talk" Gibbs said to her.

"How do you think we will be able to do that?" Ziva snapped a little at Gibbs.

"You'll figure it out, you need to talk otherwise you will wake up someday in the next few weeks and you will be wondering why you ever got together again"

That hit Ziva just on the right place, Gibbs was right.

"It does not have to be a bad thing that it remembers you of Emma, try to use it as a strength to be more focused, to bring this little girl at home. And in return let us help find Emma, we will not give up until we have her back to you"

Ziva nodded and also left the elevator. Tony nor Ziva spoke a word, and nothing happened until that same night.

They both lied in bed, both pretending to be asleep. That was until Ziva felt the bed move, and heard Tony walk out of the room. For a few minutes she lay alone in bed, Gibbs' words echoing in her head.

_You need to talk otherwise you will wake up someday in the next few weeks and you will be wondering why you ever got together again._

Gibbs was right, Ziva knew that he was, and that is why she also walked out of the room. She saw the light on in Emma's room, the door was open. She peaked inside, Tony stood in front of the window holding one of the favorite stuffed animals of Emma. Ziva soflty walked to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Tony, we need to talk"

As Tony turned around Ziva could see that he had been crying.

"After you left Gibbs said something, and I think he is right. If we keep bottling up our emotions and do not talk to each other, then someday very soon we will be wondering what we have been doing together."

"Are you telling me that you want to leave, please Zi, I cannot let you walk away not again"

"That is the very last thing I want to do! I just…This case…and Emma…it is just all so" Ziva's eyes were watering up. She took a big shaking breath to hold the tears at bay. "When I heard Gibbs say that there was a little girl involved I could not stop wondering you know if it could be Emma, I realize that it is stupid to hope, they have been under the radar for five years, they would not make a mistake now. And searching for this girl, it makes me remember Emma, the day I first hold her in my arms" All this time Tony had been silent "Please Tony tell me how you feel. Cry or yell at me I do not care, but please do not say nothing, do not bottle it up inside" Ziva pleaded.

Ziva's plea was enough to break through Tony's walls tears began to steam down his face. Ziva put her arms around him and together they sat on the floor crying, letting go.

"I feel like I am failing her, like I'm failing you" he said

"Why would you think that?"

"Because searching for this girl, it just seems as if we should be searching for Emma. And I hate myself for it, this girl also has parents that care for her and must miss her, but…"

"You just want your little girl back. I understand Tony, but do not think you are failing me or her. Gibbs promised not to stop until Emma was back with us, and I know he will keep his promise"

Tony kissed her hair "I love you" he whispered to her

They still sat like that in each other's arms.

"Tell me what your best memory is, of how we used to be?" Tony asked Ziva.

"It was the day that she was born. The first time I held her in my arms, I looked at her. And before that moment I never understood how a person could love their child so much that it hurt. But on that moment I understood, because she always would be a part of us of both of us. As if a piece of your own soul always will be within her. And you?"

"The first night that we were home. You were sleeping Emma had started to cry I walked to her and picked her up and she became quiet. She looked up at me and as I looked at her I could…I don't know it was just the immense feeling of love, even though she was barely two days old."

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So if anyone is offering please leave a review, I really need you help

Did I make it up at least a bit (A)


	17. Alike

CHAPTER 17

In the next days things got better, everyone was able to notice it. It was in fact true that both Tony and Ziva had fixed their issues. They talked more, the tention in the bullpen had lessened. Even though it had been replaced with the pressure to find the girl. The girl without an face, a name or a family. What neither Tony nor Zive knew at that moment was that something was going on, something they didn't have a grip on. Something that would lead to a confrontation and would come sooner than anyone would be able to think.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when she was woken up by a loud voice next to her. She had not even noticed when they entered her room.

"get up" the man spoke to her as if she was nothing but a disobeying dog.

This was one of her other captors, his hair was dyed blond and a golden ear ring in his left ear. On his hands there were two skulls tattooed. She was very afraid of this man, he had been the one to hit her the most, hurt her the most and while he was pulling her with him she could hear him scolded at her.

"Filthy little brat, no wonder no one wanted you, your worthless, and come to think that he wants you to stay alive, and for what, worthless piece of"

"Enough!" A loud and heavy voice said.

She had not noticed that they had entered yet another room, this room was nice compared to all the others she had been in since they had been here. Well nice may not be the best word to describe the room but in _her_ eyes it was. It was the only room that had clean furniture in it, two chairs and a clean table. The lights were working without blinking on and off, and it was one of the few rooms that did not smell like dirt and urine. And something inside of her hoped that it was good news for once, no beating, no strangling her, just a meeting to tell her that they were moving again. It was then that she noticed the big tank she had seen it before, and she knew it contained ice cold water. Water so cold that it hurt, it hurt you like a thousand knifes were pushed into your flesh. She could speak from experience about how it felt to have a knife pushed into your skin. It was only once and maybe it was a year or maybe two years ago but she remembered the feeling as if it was yesterday. That much pain, burning pain one could not easily forget. All she wanted to do at that moment was run away, try to safe herself and stay alive. Though the hands of the man kept her in place and eliminated the small change she might have had of getting away.

"well, well, look at you" Tarik, the leader spoke "for such an filthy worthless thing you do not look that bad, a shame really. Now was it fun to watch those people die, to watch them take their last breath, knowing that if you had not messed up they would still be alive, they would be safe and living. Because of you they are dead"

"NO, I did not do any..!"

"Silence" Tarik said, he never raised his voice, it only became darker and lower as he got angry, just like it was doing right now. "girls that speak when not asked need to be punished" And with one nod of Tarik, she was lifted what seemed like 2 meter in the air and thrown into the ice cold water. Struggling for air she came up.

"Now you were able to watch how to do it. How to kill, and that is exactly what you will be doing"

She wanted to scream no again, but before she even had the change of opening her mouth she was already pushed under water. She was trying to get to the surface to take the breath that she so desperately needed. After what seemed like an eternity she was finally pulled up again.

"Your task is simple, Amir here will drop you off at the end of the street, you will walk to the third house at that street, you walk up the porch and there you wait"

Once again she was pushed under this time the water seemed even colder then before even though she was already soaked in it.

"You will wait until a woman comes, she will ask you what you are doing there and you will kill her."

"N-No" she struggled to say through her chattering teeth.

"Yes you will, you will kill the woman with this knife" He hold it in front of her face and waved it handeling it like it was just toy. As soon as her eyes focused on the knife she recognized it as the knife she had been stabbed with. That same knife had entered her body and it had felt like it had been on fire when it was pushed in. "You want your ima and daddy to live right. Even though they deserted you, left you behind"

"Y-yes, ima"

Tarik and Amir started to laugh "You parents that left you behind, they abandoned you, but still you will kill the woman" Tarik was satisfied with himself. All he had been trying to do for the past 5 years was messing with the girls memory of her family. One time telling her how they had loved her and if she ever wanted to see them again or even keep them alive she had to obey. The other time telling her how he was the savior, how he had taken her when her parents had left her behind glad to be rid of her.

"please no, please no, please no"

"Enough!" he said once again, only now to her "You will do as I say, when I say, or have you forgotten that you are alive because of me. If I had not taken you with us you would be dead now, you know why, because your parents left you to die, they let their little baby Emmanulla to die" he turned away "Take her"

She was pulled out of the tank and carried to her room where she was thrown on her bed, it soaked through the moment she hit the blanket. From under the pillow she grabbed the only thing she had left, she had ever had of her parents. The last presumably thing she had. It was a photo of what she assumed had to be her parents, for three years she had seen the photo in a frame, and she had always wondered what was on it, the people always made sure she could see the frame but not the photo. Sometimes they stood in front of it and just started to laugh, as if it reminded them of a good time. When they had moved to America there had been a man. He had a look in his eyes that she had not seen before, somewhere in that look she had found kindness, he told her that he was her mother's brother, she had begged him to take her but he said that he could not. The man had come back, and he had hit her and kicked her to the floor. She had not understand the one man who had been nice to her for the first time since she could remember and he had beaten her. Just before they entered he dropped a piece of paper. As he was led outside the man including Amir had been laughing at how good he had beaten her down. When she had stopped crying she had looked at the piece of paper he had dropped, it had a man and a woman on it. Both laughing at who ever took the photo, the arms of the man holding the woman and the woman holding the hands of the man with her own. She recognized some of the woman in the man who said he was the brother of her mother, and right then she understood why he did what he did. If he had not done it he could not have given it to her, it would have been taken away if the men saw her still standing up they would have beaten her and it would have been worse. Then she remembered the words he had yelled at her while kicking her "You are just like your father and mother", she knew it had been a hint and that the people in the photo were her parents. And right now while she was sobbing because she knew she had to kill a woman she clutched the photo to her chest, like it was her life line, for in fact it was. And she tried to image the one thing that always seemed to linger somewhere in her memory. Two sorts of laughing people and the smell of fresh herbs and a garden of flowers in the air.

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**Hello people! I've been out of this for so long. I just lost myself and I could not put my mind to writing because somuch was happening in my life. But I am back and I almost except for the very end finished the story. This chapter btw had been up before but I did a lot of tweaking?! it's called I believe**


	18. We Used To Be All That

**Chapter 18**

**Okay I just found out I forgot a little bout Kate sorry guys.**

They had been working for three days straight in those three days they all took turns in sleeping on the airbed in Abby's lab. It was better than not getting sleep at all. Between the constant refills of coffee and the catnaps in Abby's lab they had not gotten closer to finding the girl. Every time it seemed they were getting closer new information fake or not seemed to get up. They had found over six more people in the past five years that had been murdered the same way. They all had ties similar to the latest victims. All the team could do was wait and hope for a better connection. Finally by the end of the fourth day, they laid a connection they now wished they never had, but would later be thankful for. And it was Ziva who found it.

She was just following up a lead from two years ago. A man connected to the group had been seen with multiple of the terrorist. So far they were all dead. But the last one was connected to only one terrorist and that one was connected back to the man and the group. She pulled the file up and at that moment she wished she hadn't.

_Ari Haswari_

_The file read._

Why was it that now she began to think less of her brother as the monster he was at the end of his life something came up. She had to tell Gibbs even though she wished that for once she could share a happy memory of her brother with him, she knew that it was the right thing to do when he walked in.

"Gibbs I found something"

"Put it up" Gibbs replied to her as they all gathered round the big screen.

She explained how she had gotten there stretching as long as possible before she hesitated and pulled the file with Ari's photo up. As she continued speaking on a robot like tone, not wanting her emotions to be heard in her voice. No one except for Gibbs and Tony knew he was her brother, and no one knew what she had done.

"Ari Haswari, there are multiple connections with the group he was giving them information on Hamas, and supplying them with weapons. I have not found anything ells. Yet."

Gibbs and Tony shared a look, they both knew the truth, Ari was Ziva's brother and she had shot him to safe Kate. Then Abby came walking in

"guy's what is that doing here?" she asked, not even referring to Ari as a person.

"Ziva found a lead connection Ari to the girl" Kate spoke

"Well then I'm even more glad he is gone I knew that he was really evil"

"he is not" Ziva threw out. Normally she would be able to keep it in, she knew that they all hated Ari and the Ari that had haunted them Ziva hated to but the other Ari that was her brother she loved. And after four days of barley sleeping she just could not say nothing anymore. Even Tony had looked a little hurt when Abby had said that. When Emma had not been abducted yet Tony and Ari had been very close. Almost like brothers.

It was then that she realized what she had said, even if it was only because everyone was looking at her.

"I…umm" then she run away to the lady's room. Kate, Abby and McGee looked at Gibbs. Only Tony did not, Gibbs spoke to Tony though.

"Tony?" Tony looked up and understood what Gibbs was asking him, he nodded.

"What is going on Gibbs?" Kate asked. Always the one straight to the point.

"there is something about Ziva you do not know. Ari Haswari, he is her half-brother"

The three of them were silent, then Abby spoke up.

"But, Ziva is nice and sweet. Sure she had moments where you want to run away because she looks like she can kill you if you only breath but she is not bad, she is not a monster Gibbs. How can they be siblings?"

"Because Ari was not always like you knew him Abby" Tony spoke up "He used to be a nice guy. Someone you liked the moment you shook hands with. He was my brother in law remember. Ari and I we got along like we knew each other our whole life's. But after Emma was taken I guess he took it hard to. He always had something dark over him when you saw him after a month. Ziva often told me stories of how her father treated Ari different than her and played mind tricks with him. Like he was not part of them, of their family and he had to earn his place to even exist in this world. He always was proud and would spoil Emma rotten, even though she was barely a year old. After she was gone and Ziva and I were not together anymore I guess he just did not have anything left to be happy about, you could always see him change, see that dark side disappear whenever he was with us for a while "

The whole time they had been silent knowing not to speak through was Tony was saying. And even though they still hated Ari they understood now more than ever. That once Ari had been loved and loved himself. Gibbs turned to Tony

"Get her home Tony, we can handle it"

Tony nodded and left for the lady's room.

He did not knock on the door just walked in. Luckily there were no other woman. He heard sobbing coming from the first stall. Not locked; he pushed it open. Ziva was sitting on the closed toilet lid her eyes red from crying. When she saw Tony she did not hesitate she stood up and almost fell into his arms.

"Why is it every time I can get myself to forget he comes back! Why?"

"I don't know Zi, but try to remember the old Ari. Try to remember when you mocked him when he cried when he hold Emma. Remember the good times" Ziva nodded in his chest. "I told them you know. They know, I told them how he once was different from how they knew him." Ziva nodded again.

"I hate this" Ziva mumbled

"What?"

"Being so weak. There was a time when it would not have bothered me at all nothing of this"

"You became a mom" Tony whispered to her

"That should not have changed things. Sometimes I do not even know who I am anymore. I have been…" she took a deep breath "When I was little I was always full of joy, or so my aunt Nettie says, it changed after my mother and my sister died. I became like you got to know me. I know I was hiding from the world because I was scared that I would get hurt again. Then I met you, fell in love with you, had a daughter with you and I changed again"

"For the better"

Ziva did not even seem to hear what he had said "and after Emma was taken and I was back in Israel I tried to become the old me, the way I got to America. I tried so hard to just forget everything. And now I came back to you again it all. None of this makes sense and I lost who I am"

Tony pulled her even closer than before "You are all those things Ziva. You did not change to a whole other person, you just let a part of you step up front and the other in the back. Remember that one time that you wanted to go back to Israel before, before you were even pregnant, you were hiding. And when I saw you again after almost five years I still saw the loving caring mother I know you are. The woman I fell in love with and the woman you became over the years are all you. That is why I love you, all of you"

"Thank you" she whispered

For a while they stood like this until Ziva was calmed enough then Tony spoke up again. "Come one, Gibbs told me to get you home"

For once Ziva did not struggle and try to stay but walked next to him as close as possible, as if she was scared he'd disappear if she let go. Through the bullpen to the elevator ready to head home.

**Memory_Memory_memory_memory**

The fifth day of Emma's life Ari would come. Tony was picking him up at the airport to let Ziva and Emma sleep a little longer. He was a little late due to the traffic but no more than five minutes. Ari spotted Tony as he walked to him.

"Congratulated" he spoke as he gave Tony a manly hug.

"Thanks man, come, my car is not far away"

When they came to the house Tony softly walked upstairs he kissed Ziva's forehead to wake her.

"Hey, beautiful" he whispered "Ari's here"

At that she shot up "Already?!"

"You expected me to be late when I am here to see my favorite niece?"

"You have not even seen her yet, plus she is your only niece"

Ari just surged.

"Well now shoo, I have to get dressed" Ziva said to Ari

"Like I have never seen you in your underwear before" Ziva shot him a dirty look

"Want something to drink" Tony said as he motioned Ari out of the bedroom to avoid a sibling war. A little later Ziva came down with a still sleeping Emma in her arms.

"Ari meet Emanuella David DiNozzo" and without waking Emma she put her in Ari's arms.

Emma's eyes shot open at the feeling of arms that did not belong to her mother or her father. It looked like she was about to cry then she reached out her tiny hand and grabbed a fist full of Ari's shirt, yawned satisfied and fell asleep again. As if she knew he was family and all was good.

"Are you crying?" Ziva asked Ari with a smile of mock and proud for her brother on her face.

"No!"

"You so are" she laughed.

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please review


	19. We're so close

When they reached the car they did not speak. They did not need to, because both knew what the other was thinking. Halfway through the drive Tony broke the silence.

"We need to get something to eat, mind if I stop by the grocery store."

With a simple "No" Ziva replied.

And like that Tony pulled into a parking place in front of the store a little later. Both of them got out before they went in the store Ziva stopped Tony turned to him and said;

"I think I am going to walk home. Just need to" then she stopped

"Clear your mind, I get it. Be safe"

Ziva turned away but Tony would have none of it. Maybe it still came from the last time she walked out on him without saying a word. He quickly pulled her into his arms kissed her forehead and whispered a "I love you" in her ear.

He got a smile as reply, and he knew from experience that she felt the same. When her head wasn't clear or something was going on she never said the words, but that did not mean that she didn't mean it.

Walking always managed to calm her down. It was just all the things that had happened lately that had gotten to her and become too much. Months ago she had met the love of her life, the father of her daughter again. And it seemed like then that at least a million years had passed. The walk from the store to their house was maybe ten minutes but it was enough. It was able to give her just that much free head space so that she Though she was not prepared to find what she did.

-.-

"Get up!" was yelled at her once again. She wished that she could just block the sound out. Block it all out and go to sleep, to her dreams. The only place in which she was loved and safe. Even though good dreams rarely came anymore, most of them were night mares but her most precious dream was the one of her father and mother. And maybe it was because of the photo she got that they seemed so real in her dreams but something was saying her that it was like that. In her dream she was just sitting in the lab of her mother being hugged by her and her father, that dream though always ended in a night mare. It would always turn out so that she was left alone. Or Tarik would kill them, or they would stand up walk away leave her and not come back.

Roughly she was pulled out of the room and stuffed in the van. They drove for what seemed barley a second but was in fact half an hour.

"You know what you have to do. We drop you off at the end of the street you will walk to the fourth house in the row and wait until the woman comes. Then when she is close enough you'll kill her, with this"

He gave her a knife, it was not big but it was a little on the long side and sharp as could be. Only by looking at it one could tell. She did not dare say a single word they let her out of the van before they drove off Amir said to her

"Remember we are always watching"

She knew it was true, even if she managed to run away they would catch her, if she would not kill the woman they would find her and she would be tortured and killed. The only thing she could do was complete the task, kill the woman but it hurt her. How could it not? How could you expect that a five almost six year old was willing to kill. No it was not something any human being would want to do.

She was thrown out of the van. With the knife clutched in her hand she walked to the fourth house in the street. In the shadows she stood, waiting for the woman to come home, the woman she had to kill. Her eyes became foggy and soon tears started to run down her face and her body began to shake.

When Ziva walked up the little stairs to the front door she heard a soft sobbing coming from the corner near the door. Then she saw that it was a girl. She seemed way to thin and her cloths looked like they were worn every day for over a year, the little face was plastered with pure fear through it you could still see a beautiful little girl, the deep brown eyes were full of tears. And it seemed as if Ziva knew those brown eyes she just could not place them.

"Hey there, what is wrong little one?" Ziva asked worried as she knelt in front of the girl wanting to comfort her but knowing it was not was to touch her. She wondered how the girl had ended up here.

She saw the woman come closer and closer. Even though she could not see the face the woman seemed like a nice person. She did not have the same way of walking and of portraying herself as her captors had. The woman knelt in front of her and asked her what was wrong on the nicest tone anyone had ever used against her, even nicer than her mother's brother. Normally she was yelled at if not so she was threatened or scolded at. This woman was not bad yet she needed to kill her at this thought the crying worsened.

The girl only started to cry harder with a voice shaking so bad she could barely be understood she said "I have to."

"What do you have to?"

"So-sorry"

Then everything happened in a flash, the girl moved forwards and Ziva felt something enter her body like it was on fire. It was not until the second time that it entered her that she knew what it was, a knife. It was the little girl who held it. Ziva was already too weak to even try and fight back not that she wanted because she noticed something about the girl. Her eyes had turned a dark green color and as she fell further through her knees to the floor and saw the girl run away it hit her.

-.-

She was so close to the woman that she could smell her, when she ran away she still had the smell in her nostrils. The smell of fresh herbs and a garden full of flowers.

-.-

It hit her. And the last thing she got out before she closed her eyes was "Emma"

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**Tell me what you think of the story so far**

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	20. Describe the Girl

When Tony was in the store he could not help but keep feeling that something wasn't right. After the shopping he drove home got out and wanted to get Ziva to help with the grocery's. He had not even put one foot on the stairs or he saw her lying there. Panic overtook him as he run to her "Ziva!"

She was lying on her side and he softly though hastily he turned her over. Oh no he saw two ugly looking lines soak through her shirt where it had not been ripped. He softly slapped her cheek. "Ziva come on wake up" he saw her eyes flutter. He picked her up and run to his car when he did that he could swear that he heard her mumble the name of their daughter. When he was driving over speed limit ignoring the traffic lights he called the hospital.

"Angel of Mercy hospital how can I help you?"

"My name is Anthony DiNozzo, federal agent. My fiancé has just been stabbed twice I am there in three minutes"

"Okay we'll have a crew waiting for you"

Never in his life he had gotten to a hospital this fast. When he carried her in she was taken from him by what at that moment seemed a thousand nurses and doctors. The nurse he had spoken on the phone with took him to the waiting room gave him a new and clean shirt and asked if she should call someone for him. After he told her she left to make the call.

"Gibbs"

"Hello, I am calling from the Angel of Mercy hospital. About ten minutes ago one of your agents Anthony DiNozzo brought in his fiancé Ziva David. Right now she is in surgery, mister DiNozzo is in the waiting room"

"On my way" then he hung up. "McGee get Abby and Ducky. Kate get the car"

They all did without asking why, Gibbs was driving at the speed of lightning. It was not until Kate could see the hospital that she dared ask a question.

"Gibbs, why are we going to the Angel of Mercy hospital? Has something happened?"

"Ziva" was all he needed to say. They all walked through the doors and straight to the waiting room where Tony sat head in his hands. At the sound of footsteps he looked up.

"Boss"

"What happened?" straight to the point as always. And with everyone gathered around he started to talk.

"We went to the store when we went home, Ziva said she wanted to walk it is just a ten minute walk, to clear her mind. When I arrived at home I saw her lying on the floor, I picked her up and drove as fast as I could to here. She has two stab wounds I could not see how deep they were but they were bleeding badly"

Abby hugged Tony, Ducky and Gibbs left of to see if they could get some more information. Kate and McGee shot each other a look, and sat down next to Tony. And that was how they waited for over two hours. When finally a doctor came.

"Hello my name is Doctor Laurence Gordon, who is the fiancé of Miss David?"

"I am" Tony spoke up "but they can all hear it"

"Okay then. The two stab wounds were made by probably a sharp not to long knife. The first one did not went to deep just hit a blood vessel which made it look like there was a lot of blood loss. It should be healed in about two to three weeks. The second one was deeper and lower though, it slightly nicked her uterus but we managed to fix it quite easily. We just brought her to her room, until she is awake only mister DiNozzo can be with her. When she is awake and up for it feel free to be with her. Now follow me please"

They all followed Doctor Gordon, outside of the room the team waited, and doctor Gordon said his goodbye. Then Tony went in alone. Without saying a word he sat down on the plastic chair grabbed her hand and waited.

It took her fifteen minutes to wake up. She had her eyes open and focused only on him.

"Hey there. What do I have to do to keep you out of here?" he asked her with a smile on his face.

"Emma" was the only thing that she said, and it whipped the smile from his face.

"I can't do that Zi, you know that. But I will promise I will not stop searching for…"

"No, it was Emma"

Tony looked away from her, not believing her. "I'll get the rest" and with that he walked out.

It was when she was alone that she noticed the pressure of the windings. She got tears in her eyes as she remembered the little girl, her little girl. She could barely get a hold on the thought of what had happened to her little girl. Thousands of questions run through her head. Where had she been? What had they done to her? Did she know who Ziva was? What had they told her? But the most important question of them all right now, why had she tried to kill her?

Right then everyone came walking in.

"You have a way of getting yourself in trouble David" "glad your okay" "omygoshiwassoworriedziva"

Then the silence fell.

"What happened Ziver?"

Ziva sighed, well better tell them right away "I had walked home when I was almost at the front door I heard sobbing. It was a little girl, she was terrified, I asked her what was wrong but she started to cry even harder. Then she said "I have to do this. I am sorry" next thing I know I am in pain and falling down. I saw something in her eyes. I know it was Emma"

At her last sentence everyone looked at one another. All thinking the same, that Ziva only whished it was Emma, so that she knew that her little girl was still alive. Gibbs nodded and walked out of the room taking McGee and Kate with him. Outside of the room he spoke to them "I think the terrorist group is finally on to us, find anything you can about them. Also about the connection with Ari Haswari. And find me that little girl, they've had her long enough!"

Kate and McGee said a quick goodbye to Ziva and left. In the car they spoke

"You think it really was Emma?"

"I don't know McGee, but it is just…I think Ziva saw what she wished to see. And that the girl was just send by the group."

BACK IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM

Gibbs came back and spoke to Ziva "Was there anyone else?"

She shook her head

"Can you describe the girl"

"she was probably a year or 5, long brown hair it was curly but really tangled. Her clothes were ripped they looked like she had worn them day in day out for at least a year/ She was thin and small, she was so terrified, my baby girl" Ziva got tears in her eyes but everyone seemed to ignore the last part.

"Rest Ziver, come Abs, Duck" they bid their goodbyes and left Tony and Ziva alone.

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**I finally did it. I finished this story! So Updates will now be twice a week. Already working on the sequel. That is if you still want it. **

**About 4 more chapters to go with the last one covering what I normally have as 3 chapters or so. Cause I just could not cut it**


	21. Believe Me

**Chapter 21**

They were alone in the hospital room. It would be just a matter of time before one of the two would say something. Though they both kept it in, did not say a word. Trying not to be the one to speak first. Like that ten minutes passed.

"Want something to eat?"

Ziva shook her head, and again silence. Tony stood up ready to leave the room, probably to grab something to eat for himself, Ziva thought. But she knew if she did not ask him now she did not know when she would get the courage again to ask. So she took a big breath and asked "Why won't you believe me?"

Tony stopped dead in his tracks, turning around and facing her. "just Because"

"_Just because_ has never been a good reason for anything has it" Ziva bit back.

"What do you want me to tell you? That it's all okay. Tell you I believe you"

"I do not want you to _tell_ me anything. I want you to say what is on your heart, why you not believe me"

"Ziva please stop"

"Stop with what? You are the one who is running away from the subject. Why. Do. You. Not. Believe. Me?"

"I don't want to fight with you."

"You don't have to fight with me, just answer me"

"You really want to know why I do not believe you?"

"You think Tony" Ziva more snapped than said, she was done with him dancing round the subject. She wanted to know the truth, she wanted to know why he could not believe it had been Emma. Had he honestly lost all hope of them ever seeing their little girl back. Had it not been him who a little longer than a month ago had told her not to lose hope. To keep faith?!

"I think you saw what you wanted to see. The girl was not Emma Zi"

"Yes she was. She was our daughter. Or do you think I would not recognize our own daughter"

"Stop lying, you are only torturing yourself by saying it was her"

"I never ever lied to you before. What makes you think I am now."

He looks at her and in that look it seemed as if all of his walls broke down. He could not lie to her. Could not even avoid it anymore so he admitted to himself and to her and whispered "I am scared"

How could this be? She did not understand"Of what?"

"It cannot be Emma. You had to have been mistaken. Because if it was her. Then we failed her. I failed her. If it really is her why did we not find her years ago. They would not make a fault now, it does not make sense"

"Tony we have not failed her, you have not failed her How could you think that?"

"Look at what she did to you, if it was Emma. Maybe if we had fought harder for her she would not have turned out like this. We could have protected her. Protected her from this faith."

"So that is why you don't believe me, you think our little girl has become a murderer"

With tears in his eyes he nodded. He knew showing his soft side his hurt side was not a sign of weakness. Maybe some people thought it was but it definitely wasn't to his fiancé, the mother of their daughter. The next went unspoken by both of them. Tony walked to her sat on the side of her bed and wrapped his arms around her. Ziva knew he was crying; therefore holding him tightly against her, even though she felt the pain shot though her stitches, at that moment she did not care. Her fiancé needed her and she was there, holding him to the earth. Softly whispering in his ear

"It was not your fault Tony. She has to have been forced into this there is no other way. And back then. If we had fought for her we would be the reason she would be dead. But she is not. I know it. I saw her. Our baby girl is alive we will find her"

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**Short I know. But I felt like this needed to stand alone**


	22. Reinforcement

**_Chapter 22_**

**AT NCIS**

McGee and Kate were looking over all the facts again and again. Even Abby came up to help, not very long after that Gibbs walked into the bullpen.

"Ziva is 100% sure it is Emma"

"Gibbs she was probably just hoping that it was Emma" Kate responded to that.

Gibbs turned to her and it was as if the whole room grew cold just by the look that Gibbs gave her"It was Emma. Ziva did not lie, maybe it was dark, maybe Ziva was also hoping it was Emma. But. A parent would never mistake their child for someone ells." With that he left. They did not know about Shannon and Kelly; but of one thing Gibbs was sure. If there had been a million girls in a room who looked alike he would have found his daughter in a heartbeat.

For a while it seemed like everyone was to shocked to move. It was Abby who broke through that rushing to the elevator and yelling just before she got in "Well you hear the bossman, find Emma I'll be right back" When she had come back she had a Caf-Pow! in her hand rushed back to them and they stated to work. and it was not after Abby's third Caf-Pow! that they; or Kate found a small untied end.

"Ari was Ziva's brother right"

The other two nodded.

"He would have been searching for Emma also, his tracks should not be unfindable you think" the only thing that greeted her was silence. "Think; what if Ari had found Emma but got killed in the process. What Ziva and Tony told me was that Ari loved Emma more than anything he would have made sure that through him one way or another Emma could be found."

"That's brilliant Kate!" Abby jumped up "We need to focus less on the group or Emma but more on Ari's movements. Why haven't we thought about that before"

And like that the group went to work. Mcgee and Abby started pulling up information about Ari.

"I think we need to talk to Director David?" Kate said

"Why?" Abby asked while working.

"I've hit a few blockades from mossad. Surly Director David would let them see us if it concerns his granddaughter right?"

"What is right?" Gibbs asked as he walked in

"That we need to talk to Director David to get information about Ari that is blocked right now"

"You keep looking. I'll talk to him" Gibbs said as he was already halfway up to MTAC

It took a while but after 25 minutes Gibbs had a connection to director David.

"Shalom agent Gibbs. What is it that you want? You said it concerns family?" Eli greeted and as always directly to the point.

"Yes, hello. It concerns your granddaughter. Emma. We may have a lead to her but we need excess to Ari Haswari's file"

Eli seemed to think about this for a while

"I assure you we will only use the information we find to look for Emma"

"Alright. It will be send to you ASAP. Find her agent Gibbs. My own trail went dead when our officer got killed. I will also send you the files on our op. Find my sweet little Emmanuella Gibbs."

Gibbs nodded and the feat was killed.

When Ziva woke up it took her a moment to realize where she was and why she was in pain, not that she would admit it. Then she remembered, it had been Emma her little girl. If it was her she didn't know but shortly after she opened her eyes Tony was awake by her side. Looking exhausted.

"You did not sleep" Ziva stated not even asking

"sorry"

"For not sleeping?"

"For not believing you"

"Tony please you do not have to say anything. It happened now we can move on. Think of Emma, she is alive Tony" and it seemed as if it only registered then "she's alive"

Emma lay with her knees pulled to her chest on the old and dirty bed. The stains of blood were still on her. She kept seeing the woman in her head, she could not get rid of it. The woman had looked so much like her mother. Emma was trying to convince herself that was impossible. It had been true what Amir had said. Her parents gave her to him because they didn't want her. That was what she had been telling herself her whole life but facts didn't add up. Plus her own mind didn't add up. But what could you expect from a five year old girl. She didn't know what to think.

It did not take a two days or two officers came up to the bullpen carrying two boxes filled with files. McGee, Kate and Abby went to work on it right away. Searching for something, not knowing what, but sure that if they found it they would know.

"go home" Tony looked at her. She had been in the hospital for little over four days "The doctors are not releasing me for at least another three days. You need your sleep since we are both going back to work as soon as I am out of here"

"Ziva you have been stabbed no chance you are going back"

"I need to. I need to help and find her"

"I understand but…"

"I will stay at my desk. If you think it necessarily I take a break I will"

"Okay"

"Now go, I can handle myself"

Tony nodded and kissed her hair and went home. Took a hot shower and went to bed.

At the beginning of that day Kate and McGee both walked into the bullpen having freshly showered and slept for more than the last couple of days. Gibbs knew they all had needed a break to work fresh on finding Emma. When they got back they started going through the files Eli David had send them.

It seemed to be tons and tons of information. From Ari starting his mission by infiltrating several terrorist groups to pictures of terminated suspects.

"How are we suppose to find anything!" McGee exclaimed "it is normally tony or Ziva who sees the littlest details that connect the dots how are we going to do this without them."

Both Abby and Kate agreed with him. They had been looking at all the files nothing stood out, plus they had to wait on Jardine to get back from her vacation to translate the Hebrew files.

"We might not have to. Where are those files we didn't understand" Kate asked.

Abby threw her a pack of files Kate stood up and left the room in the elevator and was gone

"What is she going to do?" McGee asked out loud

"Going get reinforcement" Abby smiled


	23. Achi

**Chapter 23**

Without any trouble Kate was able to get to the right room even though it hadn't been visiting hours and she wasn't related to Ziva. When she walked in she saw Ziva was awake, she didn't see Tony though.

"Shalom Kate" Ziva greeted while following Kate's line of sight. "I send Tony home he needed rest"

"Ah, I see. Hey" Kate took a seat next to Ziva's bed. "We need you" she started "and Tony to but don't tell him it might get to his head"

At this Ziva laughed "Why do you need me?"

"Eli erm your father send us the files of Ari Haswari" at the name of Ziva's brother Kate paused a second. "McGee, Abby and myself have been looking at it for the last few days. I figured Ari was your brother and not even he would go to a mission to search his niece and not leave a way to find his trail if he were to be killed" Ziva silently nodded understanding what Kate was saying.

"But, I checked Ari's movements from the moment I set foot back in Israel"

"oh. Well, but did you check from the moment he started to interfere with the team?"

Ziva thought for a moment "No, the officer who has been recently killed had done that. You have the files?"

Kate gave them to Ziva who started to scan through them as soon as she had them in her hands. Time passed as Kate refreshed Ziva's memory by telling what they did find in the other files. After almost an hour of reading Ziva suddenly interjected Kate

"He kidnapped you?"

"Yes"

"That is where you need to look further. It reads here that the place got used by several men from an unknown group that was selling weapons. This man." Ziva pointed at one of the many picures with the file "This man. He was there when they took her"

"You sure?"

Ziva just looked at her "of course you are. I'll take this back to McGee and Abby see what they can do with it. Keep the other files if you find anything more"

"I will call you. Shalom kate"

When Kate had left and Ziva was sure she was alone she closed her eyes and took her star of David in her hands. "I knew you were not completely gone, thank you achi*"

When Tony was at home he did not have strength to step in the shower so he just crashed into the bed. When he fell asleep he knew Ziva had been right he had needed his rest to strengthen up. And it was not until seven the next morning that he had woken up so that were about fiftheen hours worth of sleep and he did feel better. Even better when he got out of the shower, got shaved and was on his way with breakfest to Ziva's room.

***achi [אחי****]: "my brother"**


	24. How sure?

**Chapter 24**

The rest of the days that Ziva had to stay in the hospital she told Tony kate had stopped by and told him what she knew. She also read through the other files Kate had left behind but was not able to find anything of use.

The past few days she had not been bothered, they had left her alone only come in to throw her food and water on the ground and pick up the plate the next day and like that it repeated itself time and time again.

In those nights she had been dreaming more and more about her parents her mother in particular. If it was because the woman she had had to kill smelled so much like her mother she didn't know. Al she knew was that in the dreams she could almost see their faces but the moment that she could they disappeared and she was alone again.

Suddenly doors opened she was grabbed again. This time a blindfold was put on her face and before she knew it she was shoved into a car. She could hear voices around her, and knew the routine. Don't move, don't run away, don't make a sound or there would be punishment. They were moving again.

-.-

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked as he saw Ziva sitting behind her desk "Why is you're fiancé here?"

"To help Gibbs" Ziva answered "I promise to stay at my desk. I have to"

Gibbs looked her in her eyes and he understood. He knew he would have done the same thing. So he nodded and went away.

Somewhere along the days that passed McGee jumped up. He had been trying to keep check on any suspicious group movements in a 50 kilometer range of DC. It had been a lot but for friends and family he'd do anything. "I think I got it!"

"What McGee?" Gibbs asked as he walked in. Tony and Ziva watched him hopeful.

"I think the group moved. I have been tracking any suspicious group movements all over DC for the last week and I think I might have found them."

"How sure are you it's them?" Tony asked. In the mean time Abby and Kate had joined them to.

"If I am right they are where Kate was taken" They had found out several days ago that when Ari had taken Kate he had taken her to a place a part of the group had been. And now a year after the police had left they might thought the group would use it again, all thanks to Ziva.

Tony asked again "How sure"

"Sure enough to go" McGee spoke.

When the blindfold was taken from her eyes again the first thing she noticed as the sun outside and the sound of birds. At that exact moment it seemed as if there was nothing wrong with the world. She looked around her new room. This time no bed but a simple mattress, this time however the blankets were not as torn and did not look as dirty at the others had done. The ground she was standing on consisted of nothing more than brown sand and hay that lay all around. They had to be in a barn.

She listened again in this room she could hear more than her last room. This made her think maybe the walls were only made of the wood she could see and not of stone.

"Is the little brat in the room?"

"Of Course sir"

She pulled out the photo that she still had and looked at it. Finding comfort in it when no one was around.


	25. You're Safe

In a matter of minutes the team had gathered their gear and Gibbs was calling the second MCRT team in to go and help them, because they didn't know against how many they were up.

Ziva also strapped her gun to her side and walked with the rest to the elevator. Tony grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"You're not going anywhere"

"Yes I am. I am going with you"

"No it's to dangerous"  
"I don't care, if Emma is there I have to go. And you cannot make me stop"

"Fine, but you're staying in the car" Tony finaly decided.

Without any further do they got into the elevator. With Gibbs's normal driving and Tony in protective father mode they were getting on the way very fast.

"okay, that dirt road we have to take, we can take the cars a little further the way we are entering they cannot see the cars approach" McGee told through his earwig to Tony and the other team who had caught up with them.

They got as close as they could stop the cars and strapped bulletproof vests on. Ziva made a move to get out of the car but Tony pushed her down.

"I've let you come with us. Now you stay in the car. If something goes wrong I cannot risk you Ziva"  
"but"

"Please for me"

Ziva saw the honesty in his eyes. He was truly worried something would happen to her in the field if he let her come. And if he let her come he would watch her back rather than his own and he would risk himself. That was how she sat down in the car again while she saw the others gather with the backup team and discus plans. Luckily for Ziva the mossad ninja was still awake within her, everyone was talking clear enough for her to read their lips.

"Okay, so this is the plan…"

Moments later after a lot of nods from the others Tony threw one last look at Ziva before they left. Guns ready to shoot.

As Ziva saw them disappear she could not hold back she opened the car door and got out. She looked in the back and almost swore out loud. No vests left. Well she just had to be her best mossad agent. It was not like she hadn't been on missions without a bullet vest. She checked her gun and backup both full clips. She also checked both her knifes, also still in place then she jogged behind the others. They were far enough not to notice her.

And then right when she saw one of the other team give the signal that everyone was in position it seemed like all hell broke lose.

They had been noticed and suddenly the place seemed to swarm with men with gun. Oh yeah, they had found the right place.

* * *

Inside her room Emma suddenly didn't hear anything at all and then loud shouting and the sound of guns being fired.

"Get the girl out NOW!" she heard right before the door was opened, this might be her only change and she took it she ran, ran for her life.

* * *

Ziva saw all people suddenly running around. but there was only one thing she was searching for

* * *

When she ran men tried to grab her but because she was so tiny she could easily slip through.

"Don't let her go you fools! Get her!"

She ran to the door and made it outside, for a moment she stopped. There were so many people running around and even more sounds of a gun, until now no one had seen her, this had to be her change. She saw big trees further away she had to make it to there then maybe she would be safe.

* * *

Between all the man running and shooting there was only one thing Ziva was fixated on finding. And then she saw her. A door opened and a person to small to be one of the bad guys stepped outside. That had to be her, Ziva just knew it. She would recognize her everywhere.

"Emma" she breathed as she saw the girl eye the trees and knew that her daughter was going to the trees, to safety.

Then she jumped up from her hiding place and ran.

* * *

Tony, Gibbs and Kate were soon gaining ground as now the men inside the barn were more careful, when suddenly Tony saw something rather someone start running past them from the corner of his eye. The moment he pointed his gun to the person he saw who it was.

"Ziva!" he yelled. "Get back here!"

But she didn't listen. She kept on running, and al tony could do was give her cover. While running he took out one men while she herself also took one.

"Gibbs!"

"I saw DiNozzo. Kate?!"

"Ready"

"okay go" and with that sign they slowly but still rather fast went after Ziva, who in the mean while had gotten lost between the barn and a few people.

While she was running after Emma, a few other people ran after her she knew at least one was taken down by Tony. But what concerned her more were the three people in front of her. Even though she felt that running like this really tugged on her stitches she kept on running.

It seemed as if the group of people in front of her were running faster and faster and she seemed to get more and more behind. At this moment they had made half a circle round the barn and now landed in the forest. Ziva was already gasping for air but she could not, she would not stop. If she stopped now the changes of seeing Emma alive ever again would become so slim they might as well not exist.  
As Tony was running after Ziva he did not know what she was after. But since she was running so fast and kept on going while he knew that she had to be in pain because of her still not healed wounds he kept running after her. not trying to make her stop.

* * *

Emma was running for her life, she knew her captors had to be close behind. Their footsteps as they were running after her got louder and louder. If she would take the time to listen she could even hear them breathing loudly. For a girl her age weight and strength she was very fast almost only running on adrenaline. Zig zagging through the trees she tried to avoid getting cause. when she did not look for only a second to where she was going her foot got caught in the upstanding roots from and oak. Almost flying to the air her captors got a smirk on their faces. They had here she would not be fast enough now. Would not be able to scramble up and still outrun them.

At the moment she landed in the snow covered earth they pulled out their guns standing around her Tarik being the first one to come to a stop and catch his breath.

* * *

Gun shots were heard behind him, turning his head was something he'd better not have done. For the moment he did he crashed full speed into the nearest tree. And the time when Gibbs and Kate helped him scramble to his feet was enough to not see Ziva anymore.  
"What way was she running DiNozzo?"  
"I..I" he mumbled while turning to the left and to the right.  
"Kate hold left, I'll do right DiNozzo in the middle. We will find her" on their way they were.

* * *

When she was falling and even when she crashed to the ground she had not realized what happened. The moment she tried to stand up and could hear all the clicking of guns being loaded she knew her life was over. In a normal case Tarik could hold his cool and not beat her to death. Right now between the shootings and her escaping she knew that getting a gun pressed to her head would be the easy way out. And Tarik would not give her that, that was one of the only things in her life that she was certain of. Tears could not form in her eyes, if it was because of the cold or because of fear she didn't know, and how could she know.

The moment Tarik wanted to open his mouth was also the moment Ziva saw her little girl trying to stand up but failing, scared of all the loaded guns that were surrounding her.  
"NO!" she screamed as she took the final sprint to the group trying to get to Emma, who had nothing but fear in her eyes even as she was looking at Ziva at her mother.

Tarik turned around just as two of the men behind them grabbing Ziva as soon as they got the change. If it was possible the smile on Tariks face and the light in his eyes became even bigger. Most of his followers not understanding why.  
"Well well well, this is getting better by the minute" he gave a sign and Ziva was punched in the face and in the stomach. Her previous injury's not letting her fight back. She was exhausted from the run now the punches she could do nothing more than hang in her captors arms.

"What a lovely reunion" Tarik turned his attention back to Emma. "You know who this is?"

Emma was looking at the woman she knew in an instant who it was. It was the woman she had to kill, inside she was conflicted. Glad she had not killed a person but still scared to answer.

"Answer me!" he said

"the woman I had to" now averting her eyes from the woman "had to kill"

"ah, yes, yes that to. But this!" he grabbed a hand full of Ziva's hair and lifted her head getting a painfull gasp from Ziva "This is your mother" Emma looked back into the eyes of the woman. This could not be. "Your mother the one who gave you away"

"No" Ziva said "I was keeping you alive"

"Come on, let's give mother and daughter a proper meeting shall we"

The men and women around Tarik laughed as the two holding Ziva threw her away next to where Emma was lying in the cold snow. Ziva landing on her stomach tried to scramble onto her feet as fast as she could. Soon she came to realize that she didn't have enough strength. Emma in the mean time had not moved a bit. Still processing the words that Tarik had spoken. Was this real? Was this woman really her mother? That was something that could not be true. Her mother would not care for her, as Tarik had told her over and over again. And this woman she was trying to get up. Why? To protect her? It certainly seemed that way as she was trying to get in front of her.

"Please" Ziva pleaded "please let her go. Take me and let her go"

* * *

The three were proceeding fast through the forest. Then Gibbs saw a couple of broken branches on the ground. "DiNozzo, Kate, turn right. I found a trail"

In moments he was joined by the both of his agents.

* * *

"Shut up bitch" the woman closest to Tarik said. "You are worth nothing!"

"No, she is of worth" Tarik corrected the woman "A mossad officer high in the rank, certainly for her age, daughter of the director of mossad"

"Then what are we waiting for!" the woman said "We have to leave we take her, kill the brat and"

"silence" Tarik said on a dark low tone "We will do no such thing"

"Why not. If she is everything you say she is of much greater value then the girl. Guys, kill the girl take the woman"

A loud slap was heard "How you dare to give commands. I give the orders not you!"

While their fight was going on it had captured all of the attention of their accomplishes Ziva tried to get as close to Emma as possible. When the little girl moved even a bit away from her Ziva stopped her actions.

"Shhh, it's okay. It will all be okay. I will keep you safe I promise Emma"

The little fight continued but now got so loud that it took Ziva's attention back again.

"That is final!" Tarik now probably for the first time ever "You up" he ordered Ziva. Who tried her best to do as he said but failed as she was just to weak. "Get her up"

Roughly she was pulled from the ground.

"And the girl" he ordered next.

"Please let her go"

"I won't. But I am not a cruel man, as soon as I am done with her" he pointed to Emma "I promise you I will get you to. Of course I will let you live several years after I also have taken away your loved one. Then I will come back for you don't you fear. I will work on you so hard that you will be begging me on your knees to kill you"

Then he walked up to Emma "This is all because of your mother of what she's done to my.." he covered up his hesitation by hitting Emma once but it was enough to get a responds from both mother and daughter.

"Stop! I am sorry for Alyssa. I could do nothing about it. I had orders"

"And you followed them!"

"I had no choice"

* * *

While this was going on Tony, Kate and Gibbs could now see the group. "Ziva" Tony whispered.

"DiNozzo" Gibbs said through the earpiece "Stay put we have to wait until the right moment"

"If we go Gibb s I want this bastard alive. I want him send back to his country and get life for what he did. Death is to merciful for him"

* * *

"Yes you had" Tarik spoke to her as he walked away from Emma and closer to Ziva. What she had hoped for. Every moment Tarik spend on her was a moment less on Emma. A moment less that he could hurt her. A moment less until the others would find them and save Emma. "You could have said you could not do it"

"If not they had killed me"

"They should have my Alyssa she was just a child"

"I was only sixteen I was a child myself!"

"You let her die alone! Least your people could have done was let me be with her. But you are cold, ice cold, but to who am I talking you gave your own daughter to me"

"No I didn't, well I did I..I did it to keep her alive. "

"Is that what you have been telling yourself all of these years"

"Yes, and it is the truth. And as far as Alyssa concerns she did not die alone. I was with her. I did not want her to die cold and alone." Ziva hope by telling him this truth he would at least get some compassion. If not for her then maybe for Emma. If not she needed to buy time.

It only got Tarik even more furious then he already was. He took a step way from Ziva. Ordering his man for a knife. Then turning to Emma again. The little girl who had watched the whole ordeal in silence. Thoughts running through her mind.

It really was her mother. The one who had given her away to these horrible people. The same woman who loved her enough to protect her right now. Who was trying to get her out of here.

"NOW!" Gibbs ordered.

Another hell broke loose. The first shots were fired at Tarik. One hitting him in the shoulder, one in the leg before he fell down. A couple of men were shot multiple times in the chest and fell down, dead. Ziva had been thrown on the ground again. Using the strength, and mostly adrenaline to use her body to shield Emma from any harm. The woman and one of the men had started to run the moment that Gibbs had given the order and were nowhere to be seen right now.

When the gun fire stopped. Tony ran to Tarik. Kicking him where the sun don't shine. Gibbs had to pull him away and with one look to Ziva and the girl he calmed down. Threw his gun to the ground and very slowly as if he could not believe it walked to Ziva and Emma.

Ziva had turned around now facing Emma. The sound of snow crisping behind them got emma's attention. Looking up at the man standing behind Ziva.

"It's okay. Emma it's over" he said

"Your safe darling" Ziva said. Tears in her eyes, not yet streaming down her face.

At that moment Emma may have not realized what it meant. But all she could feel inside of herself was an ocean washing away all the pain for the moment. And turned her insides to joy. These people saved her. These people were her parents. They had come to safe her.

"Ima" she whispered. Ziva did not even make a sound could only nod her head. Then the little girl scrambled to her feet and ran into Ziva's arms who closed them around her. Tears now streaming down her face, together with those of Emma. Who was developed into the warm arms of her mother. Tears from all the pain showing on her face. Tony joined them without a seconds thought and held them to him in his arms.

"Your safe. We are going to be okay" Ziva kept whispering in Emma's ear. Only loud enough for the girl and Tony to hear "we love you. So much, we love you emma"

Kate and Gibbs who were joined by the others of the team waiting for other orders what to do with the couple of men they took alive, they could do nothing more then watch the broken family who would have a lot of healing time to go. But were finally together again.

* * *

**So this was it. Like we Used to has come to an End. I probably will make a sequal is the request rate is high enough.**

**If you have ideas or thing you like to see in a sequal please let me know.**

**I really hope you enjoyed it. Even though this has been a long, long ride**


End file.
